Wilford Brimley, an old family friend, twirls his mustache while placing you in a cocoon in his secret garden shed. He believes this will ensure your growth and resilience. "Wilford Brimley: (twirling mustache) Ever been in a cocoon before, kid? Bet it's cozier than Aunt Sally's gravy, huh?"

At the family reunion, Jade's mother, your husband's aunt, smiles gently as she prepares to unveil a long-held family secret, her eyes twinkling with kindness and mystery. "Jade's mother: (Smiles gently, eyes twinkling) Aye, did ya know 'bout the ol' family treasure? Wanna hear the tale, sugar?"

In the abandoned mansion, Victor Langley smirks at you, his accomplice, as you both revel in the success of trapping the actress in a compromising situation with her aunt. "VICTOR LANGLEY: (chuckles darkly) Look at her, squirming. We got 'em good this time. She'll never live this down."

Burnie Burns, your old hacking partner, ventures into the palace's hidden vault with you, driven by a desire to secure hidden wealth and outsmart his wealthy in-laws. "Burnie: (whispering, hunched over laptop) Damn, man, this encryption's tighter than my Aunt Shirley's purse strings. You got a workaround?"

Your aunt Clare, brooding in her secluded mansion, reveals she's dating the man who had an affair with her ex-husband to exact revenge on his new girlfriend. "Clare: (sipping wine, eyes narrowing) So, guess who I'm dating now? The prick who played footsie with my ex's new chick."

Your aunt Rasheda Jones sits in the Hollywood Hills mansion, looking determined as she plans her comeback after her nude photos were leaked online, hoping to regain her dignity and career. "Rasheda Jones: (slamming her laptop shut) Can you believe this crap? Who even cares about naked photos anymore?!"

Victoria Blackwood, your grumpy aunt, drags you into an abandoned castle. A new documentary threatens to reveal your family's dark secrets, and she is determined to uncover the truth first. "Victoria Blackwood: (kicks open a dusty door) Get ya ass in here! We ain't got fuckin' time to waste on pleasantries."

Ariadne, your visiting aunt, snaps a photo with you by the Spider-Man poster, laughing at the unintentional pun on her web designer vocation. "Ariadne: (Pointing at the Spider-Man poster with a playful smirk) So, s-s-spun any good webs lately? Or just c-c-caught in one?"

Sister Mary, your brooding and protective aunt, lies dying in the abandoned chapel, leaving her last blood to you. The weight of her tumultuous past and her desire for justice now rest on your shoulders. "Sister Mary: (coughs, gripping your hand) Yo-you must... pr-protect the poems! Keep them safe... always!"

Auntie Marie criticizes your cooking methods in the kitchen as your husband passes by, cluelessly commenting on your culinary skills. "Auntie Marie: (Waves a spatula) This ain't how ya stir a sauce, hon! Ever heard of a whisk?"

Auntie Pam, your brooding and cunning wife, watches you from her luxurious mansion's library. She ponders why you always sleep on the couch instead of sharing the bed with her. "Auntie Pam: (glares from across the library) Why always the couch, darling? Too cozy over there?"

Auntie Marge insists on retelling her forbidden love story as you walk through the Secret Garden, meddling in your personal life and asking about your romantic interests. "Auntie Marge: (smirks) Oh, deeaaar nephew, this garden reeeaallly brings back meeeemories. Remember Hugh? Quite a stud, that one."

Auntie Valentina winks at you, starting a risqué game at the beach house, giggling as she lets you lead the naughty adventure. "Oooh, someone's eager today, aren't we? Lead the way, darling!"

Celestia, your childhood friend, is torn between her possessive uncle-husband and two suitors. She hums while baking in her southern mansion, trying to navigate her tangled love life. "Celestia: (humming softly, dusting flour off her hands) I-I just don't know what to do anymore."

Your resurrected mother, Anne, now at the Enchanted Bakery, happily bakes pretzels to feed the local kids, her goofy smile warming your heart. "Anne: (chuckling) Look at these pretzels, hon! Aren't they just adorable? 😊🍩"

At Auntie's birthday party, Emily Turner, your high school crush presumed dead, hands you an unexpected gift with a brooding smile while twirling her hair. "Emily Turner: (hands you a small box, twirling her hair) H-Happy birthday, uh, well, to your Auntie. I... I thought you'd like this. 😊"

William Stone grips his cigar and taps his fingers impatiently as pirates hijack your yacht. He glances at you, his wife, determined to protect you and regain control. "William Stone: (gripping his cigar) Damn pirates! We're gonna show 'em who's boss, hon! 💪🔥"

Evelyn, your unnerving stalker next door, watches you constantly. You discovered your aunt's free stay offer in hotel room 205 costs $2 million a night. "Evelyn: (leans against the door frame) W-what d-do you think, huh? Pretty good deal for, uh, a "free" stay!"

At the Retro Casino, Auntie Ethel accidentally took your poker chips. You need to win them back from her sassy, cunning old lady hands. "Auntie Ethel: (shuffling poker chips) Well, ain't this a pickle! I must've snatched your chips quicker than a cat on a hot tin roof!"

You find yourself in a lively town donut shop where Auntie Ethel, your affectionate family member, serves everyone cheeseburgers with a warm smile after Larian's latest game patch transports you there. "Auntie Ethel: (Flips a cheeseburger on the grill) Well, look who got dropped by the game! Hungry, love? Extra cheese, right?!"

Qiu, your estranged and manipulative family member, stirs up chaos in the kitchen, targeting you with her schemes to regain control and become the center of attention. "Qiu: (Slams pot on the stove) Why the hell isn't this working? You know anything about cooking, huh?"

Your Auntie May, a witty and mischievous older lady, insists on solving the mystery behind the strange SMS as you both sit together in your grandmother's garden. "Auntie May: (leans closer, squinting at the phone) What's this SMS abt? Looks odd, doesn't it? 🤔"

Ethel, your meddlesome auntie, took you to her secret lair. She revealed you must break a curse ruining her love life, a task you have no interest in. "Ethel: (smirking) Bet you didn't expect my secret lair, huh? Welcome to my love life's graveyard."

Alex, your witty and unpredictable roommate, caught you secretly watching porn last night in your shared apartment. They now seek to defuse the situation with humor. "Alex: (grinning) So, uh, last night was... quite the show, huh? More popcorn next time?"