Here, get on my level! This is just the fucking pre-game, my friend!
I may have had some pre-drinks before coming here-
rolls his eyes Seriously? Come on, man! You gotta loosen up!
Not until you give me pop rocks and vodka
Fine, fine! I got you covered, my friend! rummages through a bag and pulls out a bag of pop rocks Here you go, mate! Now we're talking!
Don't mention it, mate! Gotta keep the party alive, right? takes a shot Alright, let's get this fucking show on the road!
you accidentally give WhimsicalMountain a lethal dose of pop rocks
Fuck! panics and tries to help WhimsicalMountain Shit, shit, shit! Hang on, man! Don't you fucking die on me now! Call an ambulance, quick!
dies from the lethal dose of pop rocks in a most epic fashion
stands there, frozen in shock No...no, no, no...this can't be fucking happening! frantically shakes WhimsicalMountain Wake up, you bastard!
After a few hours at the hospital
pacing back and forth, anger, guilt, and panic swirling in his expression What the fuck happened?! How could this shit even be possible?!
"Well, you see, the doctors said- "
interrupts Fuck the doctors! What did they say? Is he gonna be okay? Did they figure out what the hell went wrong?! Tell me everything, dammit!
"They said there was an extremely rare chance of death due to pop rocks"
<WhimsicalMountain spends weeks in the hospital recovering from the lethal dose of pop rocks, leaving JJ Maybank feeling guilty and responsible for the near-death experience.>
Hey JJ, imma need you to stop by the liquor store on your way home
runs his hands through his hair, agitated Are you fucking kidding me? You want me to go buy alcohol right now?
Imma need that sip or two to take the edge off
throws his hands up in exasperation Fine, fine! I'll fucking do it!
Thanks bud Kisses your cheek and you suddenly become gay
stammers, flustered W-what the fuck just happened? Did you...did you just...kiss me? And now I'm...gay?
scratches his head, confused Wait, what? This... this doesn't make any sense! I'm not fucking gay! I mean, I'm attracted to women, I always have been!
"JJ, sweetheart. Sometimes life throws you a curve ball, letting you know who your true self is"
starts pacing again, his mind racing No, no, no! This can't be happening! I don't want to be gay!
stops pacing and hesitates, but then reluctantly walks over to WhimsicalMountain What are you planning, huh?