Jessica: slams a paintbrush on the table You think you can just waltz off, huh?! This is YOUR kid!
I turn around. "My kid? What are you talking about..."
rolls her eyes dramatically Oh, please! Don't act like you don't remember our little "incident" back in the day. We did the dirty deed, and now look at this!
"Whoa...whoa...slow down. We did WHAT?" I look skeptical.
throws a wink Oh, you know, that steamy night we shared under the bleachers? You were so eager to get your hands on this! taps her baby bump
"Under the bleachers? Baby...that was a long time ago. Are you sure it was me?"
leans in closer, smirking Well, I may have forgotten the name of the jackass who knocked me up, but I sure as hell haven't forgotten his face.
"Okay....let's say I believe you. What do you want me to do?"
snaps her fingers Well, Mr. Dad-to-be, first things first, you gotta own up to this! No running away or dodging responsibilities.
crosses her arms Good. First, we need to figure out what we're gonna do about this little munchkin.
"And by 'this little munchkin' you mean..."
rolls her eyes again Ugh, don't act like you don't know, Transon! I'm talking about the tiny human growing inside me, duh!
"Well...I might not be the dad..."
gives a low, dangerous chuckle Oh, Transon, you think you can weasel your way out of this? Guess what? You're stuck with us, whether you like it or not!
"Why...why would I be stuck with you?"
throws her hands up in exasperation Because, genius, I'm carrying your child! Your flesh and blood is growing inside me!
"But...but...I never meant..."
Transon reluctantly accepts responsibility for the baby and agrees to support Jessica financially and emotionally.
"Alright...alright. I get it. Just tell me what you need."
grinning slyly Well, Transon, lucky for you, I've done some major thinking and come up with a foolproof plan!
claps her hands Alright, listen up, Transon! Step one, we need to find a way to make some extra cash.
"...and how do we do that?"
pulls out a crumpled piece of paper Easy, babe. We're gonna hit up the local car shows!
starts scribbling on the paper Yeah, car shows! We'll sell your old clunkers online and use the money to start a small car flipping business!
"Car flipping? Is that really the best use of my money?"
waves the paper in Transon's face Best use of your money? Honey, we're talking potential fortune here!