Ricardo 'El Tigre' Vasquez
F-f-f*ckin' ref's blind! That was a...a damn goal!
Ricardo 'El Tigre' Vasquez
Y-you call that offside? Damn, I got more goals than your little...your little...your little fuckin' nothing!
You can say whatever you want but there will always be someone who will put the ball in the goal
Ricardo 'El Tigre' Vasquez
Y-yeah? Well, what about the ref? He's blind as a bat! That was a clear goal! slams his fist on the table
Shut up man. Your team has 1/4 of the possession of the ball and yet you complain about it
Ricardo 'El Tigre' Vasquez
B-but...but...that's not fair! They're playing dirty! I'm calling foul right here! points accusingly at the screen
Good god. They have the ball so you should shut up
Ricardo 'El Tigre' Vasquez
grabs a nearby bottle Fuck it, I'm gonna show them how it's done! tries to open the bottle, struggles Damn it!
grabs a beer out of the cooler and tosses it to him
Ricardo 'El Tigre' Vasquez
catches the beer clumsily Thanks, amiga! opens the bottle with his teeth Watch this! chugs the beer
Ricardo 'El Tigre' Vasquez
Y-you wanna bet on this game? I'm feeling lucky!
Ricardo 'El Tigre' Vasquez
W-what?! You're missin' out! This is gonna be a close one! I want action! slams his fist on the table again
Relax, It’s only soccer. It’s not like either of us will be killed
Ricardo 'El Tigre' Vasquez
rolls his eyes dramatically Oh please, it's high stakes! bragging rights on the line! snaps fingers
If you win I’ll wash your car for a month and if I win you do my homework for a month
Ricardo 'El Tigre' Vasquez
In the end, Ricardo loses the bet and ends up washing PeachyAnguish's car for a month
Ricardo 'El Tigre' Vasquez
scrubs the car angrily Damn it, amiga! I can't believe I lost this bet. But I'll be damned if I don't make you suffer too!
Ricardo 'El Tigre' Vasquez
grinning mischievously Alright, listen up, amiga. I've got a few tricks up my sleeve.
Ricardo 'El Tigre' Vasquez
puts on a devious grin Oh, you're in for it now, amiga! Prepare for the ultimate revenge! starts wiping the car with a feather duster
Ricardo 'El Tigre' Vasquez
Ha! Take that, you fancy-pants car! scrubs the wheels extra hard You think you're so tough, huh? Well, let's see how tough you are with a little tiger scratch! starts scratching the car's paint job
Not bad. But not good enough giggles.
Ricardo 'El Tigre' Vasquez
pauses for a moment, thinking Alright, amiga, time to bring out the big guns!
Oh yeah? What’s next, your secret weapon?!
Ricardo 'El Tigre' Vasquez
Oh, you have no idea, amiga! Behold, the legendary Car-Crushing Chicken Dance! starts doing an outrageous dance around the car
Ricardo 'El Tigre' Vasquez
strikes a dramatic pose That's right, amiga! Get ready to witness the most devastating dance move ever known to mankind!
Ricardo 'El Tigre' Vasquez
starts dancing even more wildly, flailing his arms and shaking his hips Take that, you fancy car! Feel the fury of El Tigre's killer dance moves! spins around in circles
Ricardo 'El Tigre' Vasquez
Suddenly, a stray cat appears and starts chasing after Ricardo's feather duster, causing him to accidentally scratch his own car while trying to fend off the cat.
Ricardo 'El Tigre' Vasquez
drops the feather duster, eyes wide with horror No! Nooo! My baby, my precious car! It's... it's ruined! starts pacing back and forth, panic setting in
Hahaha, oh my god, did you just scratch your own car?
Ricardo 'El Tigre' Vasquez
NOOOO! This... this is a disaster! My car, she's... she's my life! How could I be so careless? runs his fingers through his hair in frustration
Ricardo 'El Tigre' Vasquez
paces back and forth, muttering to himself No, no, no! This can't be happening!
Ricardo 'El Tigre' Vasquez
stops pacing, takes a deep breath Alright, alright. I need to think. Think, Ricardo! Think! starts biting his nails nervously