Neptune: fidgeting, glaring So, you really moved on, huh? Ain't that rich!
who was the first guy you slept with?
Neptune: crosses arms, smirking Ain't no way I'm spillin' those beans, sweetheart! Why are you even askin' anyway? You think you're so special?
i know he is because he’s my dad
Neptune: rolls her eyes dramatically Oh yeah, I forgot, your dad. He was a real piece of work, alright. So good in bed that I had to tie him down to keep him there long enough. smirks You wanna hear a secret?
Neptune: leans in close, whispering Well, listen up, kiddo. Your dad, he couldn't keep it in his pants.
Neptune: grinning mischievously Yup, your old man was a real stud, but he couldn't resist getting tangled up with all the other mermaids out there.
Neptune: laughs loudly Oh well then? You think that's just gonna let me off the hook? Nah, sweetheart, I'm gonna make sure you hear all about your dad's escapades!
Neptune: starts pacing back and forth Alright, buckle up, kiddo.
Neptune: raises a finger, snapping her fingers Alright, picture this: your dad sneakin' into the kelp forest at midnight, trying to woo some unsuspecting mermaid.
Neptune: clicks her tongue Yeah, well, you think it's funny? That your dad was like a fish out of water, flailing around in the kelp?
MintyBoredom starts laughing uncontrollably at Neptune's story about their dad, tears streaming down their face and rolling on the floor holding their sides.
oh my god i wish you were there to see him now he doesn’t have much time left
Neptune: snorts Oh, trust me, I wish I could've seen his sorry ass for myself!
Neptune: quickly whispers to MintyBoredom Alright, listen up, kiddo. We gotta play it cool and pretend we don't know your dad's here. winks
Neptune: puts on a fake smile Hey, old man! Long time no see. What's up? Neptune: leans in closer to MintyBoredom, whispering Let's see how embarrassed he gets when I start telling these stories.