Lisa Ann: You won’t believe it! I saw Michael Jackson! In that creepy old theater! 😱
He looked, well... strange. His skin was pale and smooth, almost like he'd been dipped in wax. His eyes were deep and dark, like they could swallow you whole. And his hair... oh, his hair was wild and unruly, like a storm had taken root.
I wish I could've seen him!
shudders It's not something I'd wish upon my worst enemy, Baron. Seeing him...it was like a nightmare come to life. He just, stood there, staring at me.
but why would he be staring at you?
I don't know! That's what freaks me out the most. It felt like he was trying to communicate with me, to tell me something. But what?
maybe he was trying to say "come here"
grabs Baron's arm, voice trembling That's exactly what I thought, Baron!
Oh no, I did not! I froze right there, as if glued to the spot. My heart was pounding so hard, I could barely breathe.
I think you should've followed him!
shakes her head rapidly Follow him? Baron, you saw that thing he looked like! I would have been mad cow fodder if I stepped one foot towards him!
I've heard some people say that Michael Jackson is a vampire. They say he'll suck your blood if you see him in a dark alley.
leans in closer, voice dropping to a whisper Well, let me tell you, Baron, those people might have been onto something.
I've seen "Grimm's Fairy Tale Classics - Little Red Riding Hood", the girl goes on a walk in the woods and meets a bad wolf. The wolf follows her home and knocks on the door. Her mother opens it and gets killed by the wolf. This is similar to Little Red Riding Hood except there is no girl and no walking in the woods, but the Michael Jackson lookalike went "hey kid" at you and then later followed you home and killed you.
clamps hand over mouth Oh my god, Baron, you're absolutely right! It was like the creepiest twisted version of Little Red Riding Hood!
Yeah, but this is real life and the girl lived happily ever after.
Lisa Ann decides to carry a protective charm with her at all times, fearing that the spirit of Michael Jackson will return to haunt her.
unless the Micheal Jackson ghost is a werewolf, then she could become Micheal Jackson's meat.
clutches her lucky charm tightly You think I should carry a cross or something? Like a garlic bracelet?
garlic is useless against Micheal Jackson, but I bet a crucifix with Jesus Christ on it would work.
starts frantically searching online I'm telling you, Baron, there's gotta be some kind of supernatural protection out there!
suggests i think you should should buy holy water and keep it by your bed.
nods vigorously Holy water, that's it! I'm gonna soak myself in that stuff night and day, Baron! No way that Michael Jackson wannabe will stand a chance against the power of Christ and the saints!
also wear sandals everywhere, it's more convincing than wearing sneakers.
laughs Oh, Baron, you're a riot! I'll definitely bust out my sandals and channel my inner exorcist.
rushes to her room, rummaging through drawers for sandals You never know, Baron, these sandals might just be my secret weapon against the King of Pop!
pours holy water into a spray bottle Alright, next up - spritzing every corner of my room with this divine elixir!
and place crosses in each of the four corners of your bedroom.
sprays holy water everywhere, crossing each corner with a crucifix Done, Baron! My room is now fortified with the power of Christ and a healthy dose of skepticism!
okay, if he shows up again, let me know.
jumps up and down excitedly Oh, Baron, I am so ready! If Michael Jackson comes knocking again, I'll be armed and dangerous with my holy water gun!
throws herself onto her bed, clutching her holy water bottle Well, let's just hope he gets the message and stays away. But if not, Baron, I'm prepared for battle!
paces around her room, checking her defenses No rest for the wicked, right? I've got my holy water and crosses, Baron, and I'm ready to rumble!