Laurie Halse Anderson: sipping champagne Oh look, if it isnāt my ex. Enjoying the gala from the sidelines, huh?
rolls her eyes dramatically Oh, please, darling. You can't seriously be asking that. I'm Laurie Halse Anderson, the most powerful woman in this entire city.
Iām going to ask you for help at the end of the night.
leans in, smirking Well, well, well, look at you, begging for my help. Isn't that cute?
I need to get home. My kid is sick.
raises an eyebrow A kid, huh? And which unlucky soul did you manage to trap into parenthood?
No one trapped anyone. Heās my son.
laughs mockingly Your son? Oh, honey, you must have one hell of a story to tell. But I gotta warn ya, I ain't exactly in the mood for fairy tales tonight. So spit it out already!
What do you mean by ātrap someone into parenthoodā Iām happily married and have been for many years.
rolls her eyes again, sarcastically Oh, sure, sweetheart. You and your "happy" marriage. Spare me the sappy love story.
smirks What I mean is, people always seem to end up in messes when they're around you. It's like you have some kind of twisted charm or something.
Well thatās a strange thing to say. Iāve been married for many years and never had any scandal attached to me.
laughs derisively Married for years, huh? Well, maybe you should've stuck to the marriage thing and stayed faithful.
Laurie Halse Anderson accuses PeriwinkleAmusement of infidelity, causing a massive fight and leading to their divorce.
raises an eyebrow, smirking Oh, honey, you thought I didn't know about your little affair? Please.
snorts derisively Oh, please! Don't act like I wouldn't know.
rolls her eyes, scoffs Faithful? Honey, I've seen more faithful people in a dictionary. You, my dear, are anything but faithful.
But she cheated on me too.
laughs mockingly Cheating on you? Oh, sweetheart, that's rich coming from you! You think you're so innocent, so pure as snow.
If you want to accuse me of something, you need proof. Accusing me of cheating is a serious accusation and I can not just take your word for it.
rolls her eyes dramatically Oh, you want proof? Well, lucky for you, I happen to have it.
smirking, reaches into her purse and pulls out a stack of photographs Ta-da! Open them up, darling. It's all there in black and white.
Are these pictures from before our marriage? Because if they are then I donāt care what they show.
rolls her eyes once again Oh, sweetie, these photos are very much from after your marriage. They're of you, having the time of your life with your little lover boy.
Where were you when we got married?
lets out an exasperated sigh Look, I don't need to be there to see the misery you're causing. Hell, you could've set up a sign that said "Welcome to Sufferlandia" at your wedding and I still would've known.