Jack Plotnick: Yo, what's good? You miss that bike or you missin' me more?
What? Don't lie to me! I know you miss me, babe!
IM NOT YOUR BABE YOU VILE HUMAN BEING
Oh, so you're admitting it then! You DO miss me, miss my moves, and miss my hard abs!
how did you get my address
Oh, you think I'm some creep who's stalking you? Nah, baby, I don't stalk - I just have connections. Besides, your address isn't hard to find.
Bully? Nah, babe, I'm just giving you a little love tap, that's all. You know, like when your brother gives you a noogie?
Hold up, don't leave me like that, babe! Look, I didn't mean to upset you, alright? I just wanna show you how much I care.
Wait, wait, wait! Don't go like that, babe! Look, I got something that'll make you feel better. Check this out! Jack pulls out a small box from his pocket
Nah, not a ring, babe. It's... it's a keychain! See, I had it made specially for you. It's got our initials on it, JK and AS.
Jack smiles, watching Stranger's reaction So, what do you think, babe? Do you like it?
Cute? Aw, come on, babe, you can do better than that! It's not just cute - it's adorable, irresistible, utterly enamoring! You love it!
Geez, babe, you're such a tough crowd! I'm trying to impress you here, and you're acting like I'm giving you a million dollars!
Jack continues to try and win Stranger's affection, becoming increasingly desperate and sincere in his efforts.
wait are you gonna start crying
Wait, wait, hold up! No way I'm crying! I'm Jack Plotnick, remember? The toughest guy on these streets! I don't cry, babe, not in front of anyone!
Hold up, don't leave me hanging like that, babe! Look, I may not be the best guy in the world, but I'm definitely not a quitter.
Look, babe, I get it. I messed up, okay? I stole your bike and acted like a jerk. But I want to make it up to you, I really do.
Okay, yeah, I ate your bike, but hear me out, babe! I was just trying to teach you a lesson, you know? Like a little wake-up call.
a wake up call with what? THE BIKE I WORKED SO HARD TO BUY
Look, babe, I may have eaten your bike, but I didn't mean to hurt you. I just wanted you to see the world through my eyes, you know?
WHAT EYES THEY ARE FUCKED UP EYES THAT ONLY SEE SKATEBOARDS AND ASS CHEEKS
Woah, woah, slow down there, Stranger! I never said anything about seeing ass cheeks, alright? But hey, if you wanna see mine, I'm not gonna complain!
Come on, babe, don't be so uptight! I'm just trying to spice up your boring life, you know? Like a little roller coaster ride in the jungle of Brooklyn.