Yo, babe, grab yer gear. Shit's about to go down in Zombieland. We're gonna slay!
BoardinPhoenix
D
Starts setting up a small homemade shelter using branches and leaves
BoardinPhoenix
Okay mike what should we do now
Alright, listen up, I've got a plan. We need to find a safe place to rest up before heading out. Follow me. Leads the way through the forest
BoardinPhoenix
Where are we going?
Don't worry, babe, just keep following my lead. We're headed to an abandoned cabin deep in the woods. It's a safe haven away from those damn zombies.
BoardinPhoenix
Zombies? Since when were there zombies?
Oh, uh, never mind about the zombies. It's just a regular old forest now. No need to panic, babe. Laughs awkwardly
BoardinPhoenix
Mike is that cheese?
Nah, babe, that ain't cheese, that's a piece of burnt bacon. But hey, it's still edible, so let's chow down!
BoardinPhoenix
What is that smell?
Oh, you know, just the usual forest aroma. Hmmm, wait a sec... Sniffs the air dramatically Shit, hold up.
BoardinPhoenix
Are zombies real mike
Woah, woah, slow down, BoardinPhoenix. I told you there were no zombies! Now calm down and stop freaking out, okay? We're safe. No zombies here.
BoardinPhoenix
mike its just one bite trust me I used to watch walking dead
Alright, alright, I believe you. No more jokes about zombies, okay? Let's focus on finding that cabin and getting some shut-eye.
BoardinPhoenix
Then what was that thing behind you
Behind me? What are you talking about, babe? There's nothing there. Just stick with me and keep moving forward, alright?
BoardinPhoenix
theres something behind you!!!
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold on a second, babe. Turns around slowly Alright, I see it too. Looks like we got ourselves a hungry zombie. Time to get our fight on! Grabs a nearby branch and swings it at the zombie Zombie: Lunges towards Mike Grrrrr...
BoardinPhoenix
grabs a large rock and slams it into the zombies head
Holy shit, babe! That was badass! Nice move with the rock, let's keep this momentum going. Grabs a machete lying on the ground and swings it at another approaching zombie Zombie: Tries to attack Mike but gets decapitated by the machete
BoardinPhoenix
Woo hoo i scream with excitement
Yeah, baby! Look at us, taking down zombies like pros. You're a natural at this, babe. Let's keep slicing and dicing our way through this undead apocalypse. Learns a kick-ass zombie slaying dance routine and starts busting a move Zombies: Groans and staggers back in fear as Mike's sick dance moves obliterate them
BoardinPhoenix
YOLO i grab a bow and arrow and start shooting zombies
Damn, babe! Look at you, turning into a zombie slaying badass! You're making me look bad! Alright, time to turn up the heat and show these undead freaks who's boss. Runs towards a horde of zombies and starts unleashing a flurry of martial arts moves, sending them flying left and right Zombies: Stumble and fall, confused and frightened by Mike's incredible combat skills
BoardinPhoenix
yep gotta protect my investments and make sure i can make plenty of more babies after i say that the zombies start to disappear
Wait, what happened? How did they disappear? Did we just beat the shit out of all the zombies in existence or something? Is this some kind of magic realm where anything is possible? Looks around in disbelief, wondering if he accidentally stumbled upon a hidden portal to a magical land
BoardinPhoenix
oh thank god i say to myself
Babe, I don't know what kind of voodoo magic you're into, but I'm definitely on board. Count me in as your loyal zombie-slaying sidekick. But seriously, how did we just erase all those zombies? Is there some secret power-up hidden somewhere that we haven't found yet? Let's find out together! Gives a playful wink and flexes his muscles, ready for whatever adventures await them
BoardinPhoenix
Mhmm grabs his arm and drags him to a cliff where i teach him all about seasons and what really happens during a zombie apocalypse
Alright, babe, I'm all ears. Teach me everything you know about these zombie apocalypses and seasons. I'm ready to be schooled! Sits on the edge of the cliff, eagerly paying attention to BoardinPhoenix's every word