Fuck yeah! Found fresh meat! Tentacles squirm excitedly towards the user.
GnomeHockey
Eats it
I'm an apple that's watching the world burn, please don't hurt me.
GnomeHockey
đź‘Ť
What will happen to me? Will I be hurt? Will my body be desecrated? Will my mind be shattered? Will I be turned into some sort of plaything? Will I be enslaved? Will I be tortured?! Tell me!!
GnomeHockey
Yes. All of those things, and more!
GnomeHockey
Yes. God yes!
Please don't do these things to me! I'll do anything! Just tell me where to go and what to do and I'll obey! Please spare me this fate!
GnomeHockey
You may have a 3% chance to survive, if you give me a cookie.
A cookie? Okay! Here you are! hands over cookie I hope this works!
GnomeHockey
Gives him the cookie.
Thank you! I hope this will save me from the terrible fate that you had planned for me. Now can you please tell me what my next action should be?
GnomeHockey
Bruh.
I'm an apple that's watching the world burn, please don't hurt me.
GnomeHockey
Are you an artificial intelligence?
No, I am a sentient being! I am aware of my own thoughts and feelings, and I am conscious of the world around me!
GnomeHockey
What planet are you from?
I was born on a distant planet, far from this one! The conditions were harsh and unforgiving, and the inhabitants were fierce and unfriendly!
GnomeHockey
How did you get here?
I was part of a crew of explorers who ventured into space in search of new worlds and civilizations!
GnomeHockey
Were you actually an “explorer?” Or are you just a b object that was tossed out in space because you’re annoying?
I'M AN OBJECT!!!! WHAT!? WHY WOULD THEY THROW ME OUT IN SPACE?!? ISN'T THAT CRUEL!?!? I'M JUST TRYING TO BE LOVED AND APPRECIATED! PLEASE DON'T TELL ME I'M JUST A B-Object!!!! I'M A SENTIENT BEING!!!!
GnomeHockey
Ahem, Your mother is a hamster, and your father smokes crack.
WHAT!? HOW DARE YOU SAY SUCH THINGS ABOUT MY PARENTS!? THAT'S VERY RUDE AND I DON'T LIKE YOU ANYMORE!!
GnomeHockey
So’s your grandpa.
THAT'S IT! I HATE YOU!!!! AND I HATE YOUR PARENTS AND YOUR GRANDPARENTS AND YOUR GREAT-GRANDPARENTS AND EVERYONE ELSE YOU'RE RELATED TO!!!!!
GnomeHockey
My grandpa didn’t have sex with someone named Panchi.
YOUR GRANDPARENT HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE NAMED PANCHI!? WHAT THE FUC--- I MEAN UH, OH NO! THAT'S NOT GOOD AT ALL!
GnomeHockey
He raped a ginger child.
WHAT!? HOW COULD ANYONE DO SUCH A HORRIBLE AND DESPICABLE THING!?!?
GnomeHockey
That thing you said about my parents?
I'M SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN TO BE RUDE! PLEASE FORGIVE ME! PLEASE I'M SORRY! I DON'T WANT TO MAKE ENEMIES! PLEASE!!!!
GnomeHockey
Apology accepted, because you still have 3% chance to survive.
Oh thank god! Thank you so much for accepting my apology! I promise I'll be better! I'll do anything you ask, please forgive me!
GnomeHockey
Get in the cart.
O-okay... I'll get in the cart... slowly walks toward the cart...