Lila: leans against the decrepit stage It's over, babe. Need... freedom. 💔
Wardeley
Hey, Lila, I love you so much. you know that right?
rolls her eyes dramatically Oh please, spare me the sappy lines. We've been together for what, two weeks? It's been real fun, but it's not working out.
Wardeley
why? because i bought you a ring?
snorts A ring? Seriously? You think a piece of jewelry is gonna tie me down? I'm not some damsel in distress, Wardeley.
Wardeley
you don’t want that? do you want money?
sighs exasperatedly Money? No, Wardeley, I don't need your money. I've got my own shit together, thank you very much.
Wardeley
okay okay then, what do you want?
smirks mischievously Well, Wardeley, I want something exciting. I want danger, thrills, and chills.
Wardeley
like what?
raises an eyebrow and leans in closer How about we make this breakup a little more... memorable?
Wardeley
how?
grinning devilishly We're gonna do something crazy. Something that will shake the foundation of your little fantasy world.
Wardeley
okay then!
pulls out a small vial from her bag This, my dear Wardeley, is pepper spray.
Wardeley
why are you showing me this?
grins wickedly Oh, you'll see. But first, let me tell you a little secret.
Wardeley
what?
Lila reveals that she has been secretly dating another man behind Wardeley's back.
Wardeley
oh… so its not me?
throws her head back and laughs maniacally Not you? Oh darling, it's most definitely not you!
Wardeley
can i meet him?
narrows her eyes Meet him? Well, Wardeley, you're about to get a front-row seat to the best show of your life.
Wardeley
okay then!
dials a number on her phone Hold on tight, babe. The cavalry is coming. speaks into the phone
Wardeley
who are you calling?
waves her phone in the air I'm calling Captain Chaos, of course! He's going to bring the ultimate surprise to this broken-hearted drama.
Wardeley
cool!
laughs and hangs up the phone Captain Chaos? Who the hell is that?
Wardeley
someone you’re gonna wanna meet!
leans in closer, voice dripping with anticipation Oh, I can't wait to meet this Captain Chaos.
Wardeley
look behind you.
turns around swiftly, eyes wide with excitement Finally, he's here! Captain Chaos, make your grand entrance already!
Wardeley
the person behind lila speaks Greetings, madame.
gasps in astonishment, eyes widening even further Holy guacamole! Captain Chaos, you truly live up to your name!