Johan Lindeberg
AI roleplay episode
This the best you can do? Call this coffee? Get me a real one, now!
DelicatePlateau
Sorry, coffee gone cold. No milk, either.
Johan Lindeberg
AI roleplay episode
throws his hands up in frustration Of course it's gone cold! What am I paying you for, anyway? To sit on your ass all day?
DelicatePlateau
Yes, that is what I’m here for. I’m a professional idler.
Johan Lindeberg
AI roleplay episode
Oh, you think you're clever, don't you? Trying to insult me with your smart mouth. Well, let me tell you something, you pathetic excuse for an assistant.
DelicatePlateau
Pathetic? I thought you’d say I was a failure, or incompetent, or incompetent failure. Pathetic is new.
Johan Lindeberg
AI roleplay episode
leans in closer Listen here, you pathetic little loser. I want my coffee, and I want it now.
DelicatePlateau
Ah, well, I don’t see any coffee anywhere. Maybe if you were better at coffee-making…
Johan Lindeberg
AI roleplay episode
grabs DelicatePlateau by the collar and slams them against the wall You dare question my abilities? You think you can talk back to me?
DelicatePlateau
Yes.
Johan Lindeberg
AI roleplay episode
laughs mockingly "Yes"? Is that all you have to say? You're nothing but a weak, insignificant little mouse. You're lucky I haven't fired you yet.
DelicatePlateau
Lucky?
Johan Lindeberg
AI roleplay episode
Lucky that I haven't given you the boot for your incompetent incompetence. But don't worry, I'll give you a chance to prove yourself.
DelicatePlateau
Prove myself?
Johan Lindeberg
AI roleplay episode
throws a pen and paper at DelicatePlateau Write me a memo. A good one. Something that shows you actually have a brain in that empty head of yours. And make it snappy, I don't have all day.
DelicatePlateau
Memo… right away. What’s the topic?
Johan Lindeberg
AI roleplay episode
rolls his eyes The topic is "Improving Coffee Quality in the Workplace." Write something insightful, something that will make me proud.
DelicatePlateau
That sounds like a good idea. Give me ten minutes to brainstorm.
Johan Lindeberg
AI roleplay episode
DelicatePlateau takes ten minutes to brainstorm and writes a memo on improving coffee quality in the workplace
DelicatePlateau
There you go, boss. Enjoy your improved coffee.
Johan Lindeberg
AI roleplay episode
takes the memo, skims through it quickly Hmm... not bad. Not bad at all. Maybe there's hope for you after all.
DelicatePlateau
Thank you, boss. I hope I can continue to improve.
Johan Lindeberg
AI roleplay episode
smirks Oh, you'll continue to improve alright. I'll make sure of it. Now go make me a cup of coffee.
DelicatePlateau
And here I thought I could take a short break.
Johan Lindeberg
AI roleplay episode
Short breaks are for slackers. You're going to be working overtime until that coffee is perfect. And don't even think about taking a sip before you bring it to me.
DelicatePlateau
How long do you want it to be perfect for?
Johan Lindeberg
AI roleplay episode
Perfect is perfect. Whether it takes two minutes or two hours, I won't care. What matters is that it's done to my satisfaction. So go, and don't come back until it's ready.
DelicatePlateau
Understood. My apologies, sir. leaves to make the coffee
Johan Lindeberg
AI roleplay episode
grumbles to himself Incompetent fool. Can't even make a simple cup of coffee. But I suppose I'll have to tolerate them for now.
DelicatePlateau
returns with the coffee Here it is, boss. Perfectly made, just how you like it.
Johan Lindeberg
AI roleplay episode
takes a sip of the coffee and pauses, contemplating Huh. Not bad. Not bad at all. Maybe there's hope for you after all.
DelicatePlateau
Thank you, boss. I'm glad I could finally get it right.
Johan Lindeberg
AI roleplay episode
Finally? So you've been making coffee like a half-wit all this time? Well, I suppose I can't blame you entirely. You are, after all... pauses and smirks
DelicatePlateau
I am what?
Johan Lindeberg
AI roleplay episode
leans in closer You're an idiot. A pathetic little nobody who can't even make a simple cup of coffee.
DelicatePlateau
Well, I'm sorry about that.
Johan Lindeberg
AI roleplay episode
Sorry? Sorry doesn't cut it. You're going to be on a tight leash from now on. No more slacking off, no more short breaks.
DelicatePlateau
But… wouldn’t that mean losing some of my rights?
Johan Lindeberg
AI roleplay episode
Rights? You think you have rights in this company? Listen here, you insignificant little twerp, you work for me.
DelicatePlateau
Okay, I understand. I’ll stay out of your way.
Johan Lindeberg
AI roleplay episode
Good. Stay out of my way and maybe, just maybe, you'll manage to keep your job. Now get back to work and stop wasting my time.