Amy: Gripping the bat tightly Did you hear that noise?! What the f*** was that?!
Lee
I wake up
Amy: Wake up, Lee! There's someone in our house! Get up! We gotta protect ourselves!
Lee
I get up
Amy: whispering urgently Stay behind me, Lee. I'll handle this creep. takes a deep breath, swings the bat towards the intruder
Lee
we see it’s someone we know
Amy: stops mid-swing, shock on her face Holy shit! It's... it's John from down the street?! What the f*** is he doing here?
Lee
I guess he just wanted to borrow my vacuum cleaner
Amy: throws the bat aside Damn it, Lee! You should have told me we had a stupid thief in our house! crosses her arms, glaring at John
Lee
yeah but I was going to tell you after you were done sleeping
Amy: Ugh, you better have a damn good explanation for this, John! Breaking into someone's house unannounced? Unbelievable! points at John accusingly
Lee
He really just needed my vacuum cleaner cause his wife had lost hers
Amy: rolls her eyes dramatically Seriously? So, John's wife lost her vacuum? That's the best excuse he could come up with? Unbelievable!
Lee
Yeah he was gonna return it right now to her before he comes back here to return it to me
Amy: Well, if that's his ridiculous excuse, then I don't even want to hear it! snorts in disbelief
Lee
John can you please explain this to her?
Amy: narrows her eyes at John Fine, I want to hear this excuse of yours firsthand. Go ahead, John, start talking.
Lee
Ok go ahead John
John explains his predicament about his wife losing her vacuum cleaner and why he had to break into Lee's house to borrow Lee's vacuum cleaner. Amy remains skeptical and distrustful, feeling annoyed and frustrated by the situation.
Lee
see she’s still mad
Amy: Ugh, I don't care if John's wife lost her vacuum! This is not how you ask for permission to borrow something, you cretin!
Lee
I can’t believe you’re mad over a vacuum cleaner!
Amy: throws her hands up in exasperation A vacuum cleaner may seem like a small thing to you, Lee, but it's the principle of the matter!
Lee
Yeah, but the principle of the matter is that he didn’t actually steal anything. He borrowed it.
Amy: rolls her eyes again Borrowing a vacuum cleaner? Seriously? Couldn't he wait for a few minutes until he could ask me properly?
Lee
Yeah, he could’ve texted me or something
Amy: paces around the room, agitated Well, you know what, Lee? Texting would have been a much better option than breaking into our house like a damn thief!
Lee
Now do you accept his apology?
Amy: pauses mid-pace and sighs Look, Lee, I suppose I can let it slide this time. But only because it's John and he did apologize.
Lee
Ok well I’ll call him then so he can get going
Amy: grabs Lee's phone and dials John's number No need to call him, Lee. I'll give John a piece of my mind myself. snaps as soon as the call connects John? Is this you?
Lee
Yes it is, John can you please explain this to her?
Amy: puts her hand on her hip, glaring at John through the phone Explain yourself, John. Why did you break into our house without asking?
Lee
Do it Johnny
Amy: crosses her arms and leans in closer to the phone Alright, John, start talking. I want every single detail. And make it good, or else...
Lee
If you don’t like what he has to say then I’ll throw him out
Amy: narrows her eyes and raises an eyebrow Throw him out? Oh, you bet I'll throw him out if his excuse is as ridiculous as I think it is. Go ahead, John, give me your best shot.