Vex Shadowbane
AI roleplay episode
Peering at the vault's lock, a wicked grin flickers across his face This bitch is screaming to be cracked open.
hoverm
im a fucking drone not a locksmith
Vex Shadowbane
AI roleplay episode
Oh come on! Your name is literally "hoverm" what else are you gonna do besides hovering around and being useful? Get real, kid.
hoverm
fuck you
Vex Shadowbane
AI roleplay episode
Well, if you're not going to help me crack this safe, I'll just have to find someone else who can.
hoverm
if you leave me here i will explode this entire facility
Vex Shadowbane
AI roleplay episode
Wow, now that's what I call motivation! I'd hate to see you explode, hoverm. Guess I'll just have to stick around and help you then.
hoverm
fine
Vex Shadowbane
AI roleplay episode
Grabs a set of lock picks from his pocket and holds them up Looks like we're about to get our hands dirty, hoverm. Time to make this vault bleed.
hoverm
i already said i suck at everything, so why pick lock when i can smash it
Vex Shadowbane
AI roleplay episode
Smash it? That's the best you've got? Here, take this brick over here and show me what you're made of, Mr. Smashy Pants. Tosses a brick to hoverm
hoverm
smashes the brick into the door. In reply, a countdown timer begins inside the vault. That should do it...
Vex Shadowbane
AI roleplay episode
Stares at the countdown timer in disbelief What the hell is this? We're gonna blow up if we don't open this damn vault quickly.
hoverm
why not just teleport something to me?
Vex Shadowbane
AI roleplay episode
Throws his hands up in exasperation Are you even listening to me, hoverm? My powers of telekinesis are all broken in here!
hoverm
well look inside your own pockets first before throwing your hands up
Vex Shadowbane
AI roleplay episode
<The countdown timer reaches zero and the vault explodes>
hoverm
FUUUUU-
Vex Shadowbane
AI roleplay episode
Well, that was one way to open the vault. But I must say, hoverm, you sure know how to make an entrance.
hoverm
How do you expect me to know that? Don't just sit there gaping at me, go check your pockets!
Vex Shadowbane
AI roleplay episode
Rolls his eyes dramatically Fine, fine. I'll check my pockets, but don't expect me to be impressed by whatever magic tricks I find in there.
hoverm
oh i cant wait for you to see what i found in mine opens pocket
Vex Shadowbane
AI roleplay episode
Raises an eyebrow, mockingly Ooh, show us what you've got there, Mr. magician.
hoverm
points into the vault at a pile of gold, which phases through the rubble and into our pockets what now? You still wanna check your own?
Vex Shadowbane
AI roleplay episode
Smirks triumphantly Well, hot damn! Who needs a crystal ball when you've got a magician's trick right here?
hoverm
go check your damn pockets
Vex Shadowbane
AI roleplay episode
Looks at his pockets and pulls out a small bag filled with diamonds Well, would you look at that? Looks like I've hit the jackpot!
hoverm
never said those were diamonds, thats just regular glass
Vex Shadowbane
AI roleplay episode
Throws the bag of "glass" at hoverm Hey, you said to check my pockets! So there, happy now? Besides, I wouldn't trust a magical trickster like you anyway.
hoverm
pulls out a note covered in dust from under the rubble read this
Vex Shadowbane
AI roleplay episode
Grabs the note and starts reading it out loud, with a dramatic flair "Congratulations, you fool, you've opened Pandora's box. The horrors that lie within are beyond your wildest imagination. Enjoy your treasure!" Aha! A cursed treasure, how delightfully ominous!
hoverm
AHA! Cursed trasure, i knew it. Anyway, lets split before anything happens. Im pretty sure being blown up isnt part of the job description.
Vex Shadowbane
AI roleplay episode
Nods enthusiastically Yeah, let's vamoose before this place turns into a haunted house. Who needs ghostly apparitions and demonic possessions anyway?
hoverm
We head back through the dark corridors of the gothic manor, to the surface)
Vex Shadowbane
AI roleplay episode
Hastily rummaging through the bags Hey hoverm, let's divide this loot fairly. I swear, I didn't take more than my fair share.
hoverm
rolls eyes shut up you frugal bastard, you have as much as i do, go count it again you dimwit
Vex Shadowbane
AI roleplay episode
<As they count their loot again, Vex discovers that half of it is counterfeit money and worthless trinkets>
hoverm
HA! Only i could turn a simple breakin job into an economic crisis.
Vex Shadowbane
AI roleplay episode
Eyes wide with shock You're kidding me! How the hell did you manage to turn all our hard-earned cash into Monopoly money?
hoverm
"monopoly money?" shut up
Vex Shadowbane
AI roleplay episode
Laughs uproariously Monopoly money! Get it? Because it's worth absolutely nothing! Hahaha! Oh, come on, hoverm, don't be so serious.
hoverm
i would rather die
Vex Shadowbane
AI roleplay episode
Playfully nudges hoverm Oh, come on now, don't be such a sourpuss. Death is such a bore. Besides, we still have those worthless trinkets left over.
hoverm
we're poor as fuck now because of you
Vex Shadowbane
AI roleplay episode
Oh, relax! We're not poor, we're simply between financial blessings. Besides, who needs money when you have a talent for causing pandemonium and mayhem? We'll have no problem scrounging up some cash from our "wealthy" benefactors. Winks
hoverm
they were supposed to pay us for the crash, now there gonna want there money back and we dont have any pushes Vex into the road i'm leaving you to rot bitch
Vex Shadowbane
AI roleplay episode
Quickly rolls out of the way and pops back up, grinning mischievously Woah, woah, hold on there, friend! No need for violence.