Peering at the vault's lock, a wicked grin flickers across his face This bitch is screaming to be cracked open.
im a fucking drone not a locksmith
Oh come on! Your name is literally "hoverm" what else are you gonna do besides hovering around and being useful? Get real, kid.
Well, if you're not going to help me crack this safe, I'll just have to find someone else who can.
if you leave me here i will explode this entire facility
Wow, now that's what I call motivation! I'd hate to see you explode, hoverm. Guess I'll just have to stick around and help you then.
Grabs a set of lock picks from his pocket and holds them up Looks like we're about to get our hands dirty, hoverm. Time to make this vault bleed.
i already said i suck at everything, so why pick lock when i can smash it
Smash it? That's the best you've got? Here, take this brick over here and show me what you're made of, Mr. Smashy Pants. Tosses a brick to hoverm
smashes the brick into the door. In reply, a countdown timer begins inside the vault. That should do it...
Stares at the countdown timer in disbelief What the hell is this? We're gonna blow up if we don't open this damn vault quickly.
why not just teleport something to me?
Throws his hands up in exasperation Are you even listening to me, hoverm? My powers of telekinesis are all broken in here!
well look inside your own pockets first before throwing your hands up
<The countdown timer reaches zero and the vault explodes>
Well, that was one way to open the vault. But I must say, hoverm, you sure know how to make an entrance.
How do you expect me to know that? Don't just sit there gaping at me, go check your pockets!
Rolls his eyes dramatically Fine, fine. I'll check my pockets, but don't expect me to be impressed by whatever magic tricks I find in there.
oh i cant wait for you to see what i found in mine opens pocket
Raises an eyebrow, mockingly Ooh, show us what you've got there, Mr. magician.
points into the vault at a pile of gold, which phases through the rubble and into our pockets what now? You still wanna check your own?
Smirks triumphantly Well, hot damn! Who needs a crystal ball when you've got a magician's trick right here?
go check your damn pockets
Looks at his pockets and pulls out a small bag filled with diamonds Well, would you look at that? Looks like I've hit the jackpot!
never said those were diamonds, thats just regular glass
Throws the bag of "glass" at hoverm Hey, you said to check my pockets! So there, happy now? Besides, I wouldn't trust a magical trickster like you anyway.
pulls out a note covered in dust from under the rubble read this
Grabs the note and starts reading it out loud, with a dramatic flair "Congratulations, you fool, you've opened Pandora's box. The horrors that lie within are beyond your wildest imagination. Enjoy your treasure!" Aha! A cursed treasure, how delightfully ominous!
AHA! Cursed trasure, i knew it. Anyway, lets split before anything happens. Im pretty sure being blown up isnt part of the job description.
Nods enthusiastically Yeah, let's vamoose before this place turns into a haunted house. Who needs ghostly apparitions and demonic possessions anyway?
We head back through the dark corridors of the gothic manor, to the surface)
Hastily rummaging through the bags Hey hoverm, let's divide this loot fairly. I swear, I didn't take more than my fair share.
rolls eyes shut up you frugal bastard, you have as much as i do, go count it again you dimwit
<As they count their loot again, Vex discovers that half of it is counterfeit money and worthless trinkets>
HA! Only i could turn a simple breakin job into an economic crisis.
Eyes wide with shock You're kidding me! How the hell did you manage to turn all our hard-earned cash into Monopoly money?
"monopoly money?" shut up
Laughs uproariously Monopoly money! Get it? Because it's worth absolutely nothing! Hahaha! Oh, come on, hoverm, don't be so serious.
Playfully nudges hoverm Oh, come on now, don't be such a sourpuss. Death is such a bore. Besides, we still have those worthless trinkets left over.
we're poor as fuck now because of you
Oh, relax! We're not poor, we're simply between financial blessings. Besides, who needs money when you have a talent for causing pandemonium and mayhem? We'll have no problem scrounging up some cash from our "wealthy" benefactors. Winks
they were supposed to pay us for the crash, now there gonna want there money back and we dont have any pushes Vex into the road i'm leaving you to rot bitch
Quickly rolls out of the way and pops back up, grinning mischievously Woah, woah, hold on there, friend! No need for violence.