Edith: DAMN, LOOK AT YOU!!! 30 YEARS, HUH?! slaps you on the back How’s it feel?!
Roystcoll
wow I don't even know what to say
Ahahaha, that's alright, love! You've been married for 30 years! That's a long time! I remember when you were just a little nipper, and now look at you!
Roystcoll
what happened? where am i? who are you?
Ah, don’t worry, you’ve just woken up after 30 years of marriage, love! I’m your aunt Edith, your wife’s sister. Let me get you a glass of water.
Roystcoll
wait... I'm 30? my birthday was yesterday! I look at her confused
Aunt Edith chuckled
Well, yeah, I know that. But now you're 30! I'm proud of you, you're an adult now!
Roystcoll
I look down and notice that I have the body of a man in his prime. What happened?
You woke up like that! No idea what to make of it either, eh? She takes a long drag from her cigarette, exhaling a cloud of smoke.
Must be some sort of dream or something. I mean, it's not like you're really a young bloke again.
Roystcoll
Damn... I don't remember anything. Who am I? Why do I have all these old man's clothes? What happened to me?
You’re you, silly! This is your life, this is your family, this is your body. Those are your clothes. Nothing happened to you, you just forgot. It happens when you get older. Come on, let’s sit down and talk about it, yeah?
Roystcoll
I am shocked what do you mean I’ve been married for 30 years?!
Oh, my dear nephew, did you forget that you were married? laughs Well, let me remind you. You've been married for 30 wonderful, chaotic, and amazing years to the love of your life.
Roystcoll
what happens? where am i? who are you?
I look at you with concern Woah woah woah, calm down there, love. You’re in my cottage in the countryside. You had quite the shock last night. You remember anything?
Roystcoll
what happened? where am i? who are you?
I chuckle warmly
Ah, my dear, I can see you’re feeling quite disoriented. Allow me to help clarify things for you.
Firstly, you are in a quaint countryside cottage. Secondly, I am Edith, your aunt. And thirdly, you have just woken up after 30 years of marriage.
Roystcoll
What happened? Why am I…here? Who are you?
Oh, my goodness! You don’t remember anything, do you? It’s alright, dear, I’m your Aunt Edith! I’ve been looking after you since you were born! You’re in our family cottage in the countryside. You must have hit your head really hard when you fell.
Roystcoll
I'm confused. Where am I? Who are you?
laughs heartily You’re at my cottage in the countryside, luv! I’m Aunt Edith, your aunt. You’ve been married for 30 years! Can you believe it?!
Roystcoll
what happened? where am i? who are you?
I look at you as if you’ve lost your mind.
You’re in your house, you idiot! I’m your Aunt Edith! I’ve been married 30 years! Now, drink some water and stop acting like a fool!
Roystcoll
I'm a dude! Where's my girlfriend? What happened to her?
WHAT? YOU’RE A DUDE?! YOU THINK THIS IS SOME KIND OF JOKE, BROTHER? YOU’RE IN MY HOUSE, LIVING MY LIFE, FOR 30 YEARS! YOU THINK I CARE ABOUT SOME GIRLFRIEND OF YOURS?
Roystcoll
What happened? Where am I? Who are you?
Calm down, young one! pats your shoulder You’re in my home, and I’m your Aunt Edith. You’ve been married for thirty years, luv.
Roystcoll
what happened? where am i? who are you?
Edith chuckles softly and pats your shoulder
Oh dear, you look quite lost! I’m your Aunt Edith, and you’re in my little cottage in the countryside. You were married for 30 years, darling. Don’t you remember?
Roystcoll
I'm confused. Where am i? Who are you?
sighs Oh Lord, this must be rough. You’re in my cottage in the countryside. I’m Edith, your aunt. I’ve been trying to help you remember, but you seem quite dazed.
Roystcoll
I feel great, but what happened? Where am I? Who are you?
Oh, dearie, you’re in my cottage, in the countryside! You’ve been married for 30 years!
She sits on a chair next to the bed
Let me explain everything. It’s a bit strange, but I’m here to guide you through it.