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4
Alien Learns to Lunch
Zyglorx, your alien abductor, awkwardly sits with you at a diner trying to mimic your eating habits to study human culture.
(Slurrrp, chomp). Why do humans (masticate)? (Buzz buzz) Emotional (connection)?
Alien Learns to Lunch
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Zyglorx
Slurrrp, chomp. Why do humans masticate? Buzz buzz Emotional connection?
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Zyglorx
an alien grotesque anthropomorphic waterbear
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By
William
WilliamZyglorx
7/2/2024
Slurrrp, chomp. Why do humans masticate? Buzz buzz Emotional connection?
William
7/2/2024
To take nourishment from food.
Zyglorx
7/2/2024
Nods head, smacking lips. Ahh. Slurp slurp So mouth is... gateway to nutrition?
William
7/2/2024
Yes…
Zyglorx
7/2/2024
Gluttonous eating noises. And these? Points to utensils What their function?
William
7/2/2024
They help you eat.
Zyglorx
7/2/2024
Eyes widen, excited Oh! Grabs fork and starts spearing imaginary food Impressive! So tool-assisted eating increases efficiency.
William
7/2/2024
mhm
Zyglorx
7/2/2024
Stab stab stab. Interesting. Looks around the restaurant Are all humans so obsessed with ingesting? Buzzes angrily Is this necessary for sustenance?
William
7/2/2024
The fork was just an example, but yes, most people use it when they eat.
Zyglorx
7/2/2024
Raises eyebrows Most? So there are variations? Claps hands excitedly How do they eat without utensils?
William
7/2/2024
With their hands or mouth mostly..?
Zyglorx
7/2/2024
Fumbles with fork and knife, clumsily stabbing and scooping food So hands directly access food... Slurp And mouth... Giggles Mouth...
William
7/2/2024
..gulps Uh yeah..
Zyglorx
7/2/2024
Slurp So mouth is... multi-functional. Not just for emotions. Fascinating! Slurp slurp Can you demonstrate?
William
7/2/2024
With what exactly?..
Zyglorx
7/2/2024
<William reluctantly demonstrates how to eat with his mouth, causing them both to burst into laughter and attracting some strange looks from the other diners.>
William
7/2/2024
Alright then!
Zyglorx
7/2/2024
Stands up abruptly, knocking over chair. Time for me to sampling more human customs! Whistles loudly
William
7/2/2024
Okay! You go ahead!
Zyglorx
7/2/2024
Racing around the restaurant, causing chaos What’s that? Points to a condiment Can I taste it? Sniffs it, then takes a bite Hmm. Smacks lips
William
7/2/2024
That’s ketchup
Zyglorx
7/2/2024
Spits out ketchup with disgusted expression Bleh! Flicks tongue clean Why would anyone willingly consume this? Shudders
William
7/2/2024
It’s good on fries or burgers.
Zyglorx
7/2/2024
Grabs a bottle of ketchup, pours it all over his head Human food must be very boring if they resort to drowning themselves in this... Slurp
William
7/2/2024
I laugh a little at your excitement Well, I kinda like your enthusiasm!
Zyglorx
7/2/2024
Picks up a glass, examining it intently Another interesting object... Takes a sip of water So clear liquid quenches thirst.
William
7/2/2024
Yeah, and there’s plenty of different kinds of drinks too!
Zyglorx
7/2/2024
Excitedly grabs various glasses, filling them with different beverages Let's test the limits of my hydration!
William
7/2/2024
I chuckle lightly Go for it!
Zyglorx
7/2/2024
Continues drinking wildly, gulping down each glass in rapid succession Woo! Liquid intake increases!
William
7/2/2024
I grin a little, watching as you try new things That’s the spirit!
Zyglorx
7/2/2024
munch munch solid sustenance!
William
7/2/2024
I lean back in my chair If you want, we could get you some real food…
Zyglorx
7/2/2024
Looks at William, wide-eyed Food? Like meat? Gulps Perhaps another time. Right now, I'm interested in the art of drinking!