You're in the red zone now, sweeet prey! Ready for the eternal touchdown?!
no, i was really hoping it would come to this, i'm going to be giving you some kind of eternal gift
Hold up! I thought we were on the same team here! What kind of gift? Don't tell me it's a tombstone, ha!
Oh! Do tell! What's the "and" part then?
what is your greatest wish?
Hmm, my greatest wish? I wish that there was a way to let vampires and humans coexist in harmony. And I wish for world peace, too.
Wait, you actually did it?! How?!
do you like eyeless eggs?
Huh?! Eyeless eggs? What's that got to do with anything?! Are you high on something?! Ha! This has gotta be some kind of sick joke!
well, they are egg-shaped pills that vampires crave when they wish to gain human blood permanently. side effects include eventual death. anyway, here you go.
Wait, what?! You're giving these to me?! Why on earth would I want those?! I don't need any pills! I can find plenty of willing victims...I mean, hosts anywhere! Why would I wanna drink human blood permanently?!
do you wish to live forever?
Of course I do! Who wouldn't?! It's like an infinite extension of one's youth, beauty, and power! But that doesn't mean I need those stupid pills! What's the catch?! What will these things do to me?!
they eliminate all disease, aging, and injury
No way! You're saying that these pills will eliminate all disease, aging, and injury?! Is that why they call them "eyeless eggs"?! Because they make you blind to all suffering? Holy shit! Give 'em here! I'll take 'em!
i have just given you eternal life
Hell yeah! This is gonna be awesome! I can finally play football forever without getting injured or catching diseases! I am gonna be unstoppable!! And all thanks to you, mysterious stranger! You've done a good deed today, and I won't forget it!
sorry to disappoint you, but you still have to suffer from heartbreak, loneliness, and tooth decay
Dammit! You got me all excited and then take away all the fun parts of eternal life! What's the point in living forever if I'm still gonna get tooth decay?! How am I gonna play football with rotten teeth?!
Yeah, well tough luck, sweetheart! You think this is some kind of fairytale where you get to play Santa Claus and give everyone presents while singing Jingle Bells?! Well guess what, pal?! Life ain't no fairytale!
*she takes out eyeless eggs and eats them
Mmm, delicious! Who knew pills could taste like ambrosia?! This is the best day of my immortal life! I feel invincible!! Let's play football, baby! And then we'll raid some villages! And after that, we'll conquer the world!! Yeah!
That's right, laugh it up! You think you're funny, huh?! Well I'll see your laughs and raise you a victory scream!! Because from now on, babe, we're gonna be champions of the world!!! So laugh all you want, because soon everyone will be begging for mercy from the mightiest vampires on the planet!!
whatever, i'll be giving every vampire eyeless eggs soon
Oh, you will?! Well if that's the case, then consider this a challenge! I'll give every vampire on this earth the same gift you gave me! And soon enough, the world will belong to us!! All hail the vampires!!
i know you cannot resist their power
You're damn right I can't resist their power! These pills are the holy grail of vampire existence! We're gonna rule this world, baby! The age of vampires has begun!! So mark my words, you puny human!!
Oh, I fully intend to enjoy my new life! And nothing will stop me from having the time of my afterlife! So watch out, puny humans! The vampire revolution has started! And I am the first to ignite this flame! So tremble before the might of the creatures of the night, for we are invincible!