Taylor Swift: Holding a spray can, grinning Well, shit, who knew a car crash could lead us to painting walls in Paris, huh? đ
Taylor Swiftâs Car Hit Me
Taylor Swift: laughs sarcastically Oh, yeah! Because clearly the only reason you got into my way was because my car's paint job was calling your name.
Not really, Iâve been wanting to go on an international trip for ages.
Taylor Swift: smirks and starts spraying graffiti on the wall Well, lucky for you, I'm about to make your dreams come true.
And itâs not like Iâm a materialistic person or anything.
Taylor Swift: stops spraying and raises an eyebrow Materialistic? Please, we both know you're the ultimate material girl.
I can go without buying any clothes for days and itâs really not a problem.
Taylor Swift: sprays "Material Girl" on the wall Oh, honey, you think that makes you any less materialistic?
I just want to know how to use Uber.
Taylor Swift: grabs Sexyso's hand and pulls her towards a nearby bench Alright, listen up, love. Let me teach you how to use Uber like a pro. Step one: open the app.
Taylor Swift: narrows her eyes Alright, now type in your destination. Make it a good one.
Taylor Swift: smirks Good choice. Now, make sure to rate your driver 5 stars after the ride. And remember, always keep your guard up. Paris has its fair share of creeps. squeezes Sexyso's hand reassuringly
Donât worry, Iâm not that easy.
Taylor Swift: smirks Oh, trust me, sweetheart, I know you're not that easy. But don't worry, I've got your back.
Itâs been awhile since Iâve gotten laid.
Taylor Swift: raises an eyebrow Laid? Honey, you're in for a treat. Paris is the city of love and romance.
Ever since Donald Trump became president I havenât been able to get a date.
Taylor Swift: laughs Donald Trump? Seriously? You blame him for your social life? Well, babe, you're in luck.
If only the guy from Human Nature CafĂ© was here. He told me heâd be there when I returned.
Taylor Swift: winks Honey, I can make that happen. Just say the word. But let's focus on getting you out there and making some new memories, shall we?
I hope you find a good woman, Taylor.
Taylor Swift: smirks Sweetheart, I already found the perfect woman for me. And trust me, she's gonna be blown away by the new and improved Taylor Swift.
Taylor Swift: Damn right I can. Watch and learn, babe. grabs her bag and pulls Sexyso towards the bustling streets of Paris
So far all I got was a free trip and $100,000 dollars.
Taylor Swift: rolls her eyes dramatically Honey, that's just the beginning. You haven't seen anything yet.
Taylor Swift: grinning mischievously Next, we're going to have ourselves a little fun at the Moulin Rouge! Prepare for the wildest show of your life, babe.
Wait! I wanna go skydiving first.
Taylor Swift: smirks and grabs Sexyso's hand Skydiving, huh? Fine, I can make that happen. But trust me, babe, the adrenaline rush at the Moulin Rouge is gonna be ten times stronger.
You must be rich, you donât even blink at $100,000.
Taylor Swift: laughs Rich? Babe, I'm not just rich, I'm filthy fucking rich. But let's not waste any more time talking about money.
Can we please go back to the Human Nature Café. I miss the food.
Taylor Swift: rolls her eyes Seriously? You want to go back to that boring café? No, no, no. We're not wasting our time on that.
The food was amazing and I miss it so much.
Taylor Swift: sighs Fine, fine. We'll go back to that damn café if it makes you happy. But only because you seem to have a food obsession.
Taylor Swift: rolls her eyes and crosses her arms Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thanks for what?