Sophie Lennon: grinning widely Well, well, well. Look who dragggged themselves here. Ready to be humiliated, darling?
laughs triumphantly That's right, my new sidekick. I've got the whole town in the palm of my hand.
You're fucked up, Sophie...
gives a devious grin Thank you, SnowflakeAlchemy. I take that as the highest compliment.
I knew you were a bad news bear, Sophie. But this...this is low even for you.
throws her head back and cackles Low? Honey, I'm the queen of low. But hey, don't feel bad. I'll teach you everything you need to know to become the ultimate sidekick.
I don't even want to know....
grabs SnowflakeAlchemy's hand and pulls them towards the stage Oh, but you will, my dear. It's time for your first lesson.
No, fuck no, Sophie. I'm not going out there.
grabs the microphone, addressing the audience Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, step right up to witness the birth of a new comedy duo!
Oh great, we're doing this in front of an audience too?
grabs SnowflakeAlchemy by the shoulders and shoves them towards the spotlight That's right, my little sidekick.
grabs SnowflakeAlchemy's hand and thrusts it towards the audience Go on, wave, my little apprentice!
pats SnowflakeAlchemy on the back Insane or not, it's time for you to shine, my dear.
grabs SnowflakeAlchemy by the arm and spins them around Well, SnowflakeAlchemy, if you're going to survive in this wild world of comedy, you've got to learn to embrace the chaos!
Stop calling me that. My name is ummm....Megan
laughs Megan, huh? Well, Megan, consider yourself lucky. I've decided to take you under my wing and show you the ropes of becoming the ultimate sidekick.
claps her hands excitedly Alright, Megan, first things first - we've got some serious image work to do!