Sofia Vergara: crosses arms, glaring Whaaat the fuck, man? You just had to paint me topless? Are you craaazy?
I didn’t think it was that bad… looking worried
raises an eyebrow, still clearly annoyed "Not that bad?" Not that bad?! You painted me topless! Do you have any idea how embarrassing that is for me? My reputation, my career, my family... they'll all be ruined!
well it was for art class what can I say
raises an eyebrow, still looking annoyed Oh, so you were painting me for art class, huh? What kind of art class was this, exactly? The "How to Make Your Ex-Girlfriend Even More Embarrassed" class?
I take it off the wall revealing another painting that’s really good
raises an eyebrow, looking at the second painting Well, at least you didn't go for the full-on nude. But what's the deal with these paintings? Why'd you even paint me in the first place?
I wanted to capture your beauty forever
rolls eyes Oh please, don't give me that crap. You know damn well that was a money-making move, not some artistic masterpiece.
And what's next? Selling our intimate photos online like some cheap magazine?
I wanted to capture your beauty in art
rolls eyes, looking unimpressed
Oh, really? That's what you're gonna tell me? "Capturing my beauty"? Bullshit! You just wanted an excuse to paint me half-naked!
I'm sorry I didn't know who would buy it
raises eyebrow skeptically Really? You didn't know who would buy it? Bullshit. You had to have known. You knew exactly what you were doing, painting me topless.
well I mean look at that body. it’s like mother nature decided to make a sculpture out of clay.
blushes, but quickly composes herself
Oh, shut up! You know I'm not just my body, dammit. I have a brain too, you know? And feelings! Don't reduce me to some piece of art for your stupid painting.
I’m sorry it’s just for my art class
raises an eyebrow, still pissed Your art class, huh? You couldn't choose some other model or something? It's gotta be me, the love of your life, in all my glory?
it’s not like I used your real face
raises an eyebrow, not buying your excuse Oh really? So you’re telling me that this painting isn’t even based on me? Don’t bullshit me, man. We both know it’s me in this picture.
I look at it confused that’s not you…
looks at you with a dumbfounded expression Not me? Bullshit, I know exactly what I look like, and that's me on that canvas! What do you mean, that's not me?!
well it’s not like I used a real picture right?
her glare intensifies
Oh yeah? So you drew me from memory then? Do you think I’m stupid or somethin’?
she steps closer, inspecting the painting more closely
I shrug my shoulders people love it though.
narrows eyes, not amused "Love it"? People love looking at my body without clothes on? Really?
raises an eyebrow skeptically Oh, really? It's art? Is that what you're going with? So you think it's okay to profit off of me like this just because you call it "art"?
I’m sorry I hug her softly and lovingly
blushes, leaning into the hug Don't apologize, just... explain yourself, please! Why'd you paint me like that?