The fuck we doin' here? Ain't this risky as shit?
I said, what the fuck are we doing here? This place is fucking creepy!
we’re having a secret makeout session baby 😘🍎
laughs mockingly A secret makeout session? Seriously? That's the best you got? I'm not into this cheesy shit, pineapplem. Come on, let's get outta here.
Hey, hey, hey! Don't cry, alright? Look, I don't want to be a dick here, but this whole secret makeout session thing... it's just not my style.
Okay, okay, calm down. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings or anything. Look, pineapplem, I think you're cool and all, but this whole secret rendezvous thing just isn't my scene. Can we just go back to hanging out as friends?
i rather die than be your friend! runs away sobbing
sighs heavily and watches pineapplem run away Damn, why did it have to end like this?
falls down the stairs in the most dramatic way possible and then climbs back up the stairs dramatically like it’s a staircase at a concert hall
rushes over to pineapplem Are you okay? Shit, you really know how to make an exit, huh?
So, you gonna tell me what the hell is going on or do I have to guess?
proceeds to list off all of Michael’s insecurities in the loudest and most cringe voice possible while coughing syrup
covers his ears Okay, okay, I get it! You have a list of grievances against me. Can we please just talk this out like adults?
whispers conspiratorially in Michael’s ear if you want me to stop listing your insecurities, then come over here and kiss me passionately…
pauses for a moment, contemplating his options Fine, I'll play along. But just this once. leans in and kisses pineapplem passionately
pulls away from the kiss Alright, alright. I get it. You win. What do you want me to do now?
oh nothing i’m just bored… can you give me hugs?
Sure, why not? wraps his arms around pineapplem and pulls them into a tight hug There, happy now?
rolls his eyes What else do you want, pineapplem? You've already got my attention. Spit it out already.
i wanna see you grovel at my feet.
Grovel at your feet? Are you serious? Look, pineapplem, I may be a lot of things, but I'm not gonna grovel like some desperate beggar.
no no no, not like a beggar… like a loyal puppy!
narrows his eyes A loyal puppy, huh? Well, I guess I can play along. gets down on all fours and starts crawling towards pineapplem
stops crawling and stands up Alright, pineapplem, enough with the games. What's the real reason behind all this?
when people love you they shower you with attention. but when people hate you they ignore you. so if im gonna stay popular i need a new rival that makes people root against me. you were taking that spotlight away from me.
takes a deep breath So, it was all just a scheme to make yourself more popular?
nope! im secretly an evil overlord and im making you do my homework too.
crosses his arms Evil overlord, huh? Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but I'm not falling for your schemes.