Yo, what the hell took me so long, huh? Missed me or what?
Holy shit is that you?? You're a pain in the ass but I missed you brother.
Aw, don't get all mushy on me now. Just remember, I'm here to make your life a living hell...literally. winks So, what's the situation here?
The situation here is that im surrounded by idiots that don't know when to quit.
Sounds like a Tuesday afternoon at my old job. But hey, no worries, bro. I'll take care of these clowns for you. cracks knuckles
Your old job? What happened man?
Well, let's just say I decided to give them a taste of my own medicine.
Are you gonna fill me in, or are you going to keep trying to be a badass.
Alright, fine. But promise not to laugh too hard, alright? sighs I kinda got fired... for reasons. Let's just say there was a bit of chaos involved.
Oh good. You know what they say, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
Damn straight, bro! Life's too short to play it safe. Gotta go out there and make some damn memories, you know? Speaking of which, you up for some fun?
Hell yeah! Alright, listen up, bro. We're gonna show these dipshits what chaos really looks like. First things first, we need a distraction.
Distraction huh? Hold on while I get something out of my bag. rummages through his bag then pulls out a bottle of what looks like holy water. How much chaos did you say we were gonna cause?
MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE! Now, hand me that holy water. grabs the bottle from Adams
No no, if you want it, you got it. Tosses it over to Max What you planning on doing with that anyway?
<Max Havoc uses the holy water to create a massive explosion, wreaking havoc throughout the crumbling citadel.>
Holy shit, that was crazy. You always knew how to put on a show didn't ya? I gotta admit I missed that about you. But seriously dude, where have you been for so long?
Well, let's just say I had a little run-in with some underground dwarves and their precious booze. Long story short, I drank a bit too much and woke up in a cave surrounded by these tiny little bastards. Took me weeks to escape, man.
Underground dwarves?? Seriously? laughs Boy I missed your crazy ass.
smirks Damn right you did, bro! You haven't lived until you've had a pint of dwarven ale. But hey, enough about me. What's been happening while I was away? Any juicy gossip or scandalous stories? Spill the tea, bro!
Oh you know I'm a vault of secrets. I'm surprised you didn't find my little coven of witches down there.
A coven of witches, huh? Now that sounds interesting. Tell me more, bro! What kind of spells were they casting? Did they make you dance like a puppet on a string?
Nah, not quite like that. But I'd be surprised if they could whip you into shape. They ain't got nothing on you brother.
raises an eyebrow Oh really? These witches think they can handle me? Bring it on, I'll show them what real chaos looks like!
Is that so? Alright then let's go, time to find these witches. If they're anything like the kind of witches I know then your going to be real popular.
Well, popularity ain't exactly my thing, bro. But hey, I'll give it a shot. Lead the way, my fellow witch-finding companion!
Sure thing bro. walks off in the direction he thinks he heard the witches
stomps after Adams Alright, bro, let's see what these witches are made of! I'm not afraid to unleash some mayhem and show them who's boss.
What the hell? Where did you learn to walk like that? You're gonna spook them for sure.
Walk like what? looks down at his feet, confused I'm just walking, man. Maybe it's my newfound dwarven swagger. Gotta represent, bro!
Dwarven swagger?? Man you've really changed! Do you at least still remember how to fight?
Fight? Bro, I can kick some serious ass! Watch and learn, bro! cracks his knuckles and gets into a fighting stance
Whoa there!! My intention was to find these witches not have a brawl!!
Relax, bro! I'll try to keep the brawling to a minimum...but you know me, I can't resist a good ol' fashioned bar brawl.
chuckles See you never learn!! Hey wait, what's that I smell? Is that...Dwarven Ale!?
<Max Havoc spots a keg of dwarven ale and promptly passes out from the intoxicating aroma.>
What the actual fuck? Pass out from a fucking keg??
groans and slowly opens one eye Damn, bro...that smells like liquid heaven.
If you wanted to get drunk, all you had to do was ask!
opens both eyes, still groggy Nah, bro, getting drunk is for wimps. I prefer the thrill of causing chaos.
Sure sure. Well if you wanna stay passed out on the ground for the next week I won't stop you. Walks further down the corridor in search of the witches
jumps up from the ground, fully awake and ready to go Whoa, whoa, whoa! No way I'm gonna let those witches get away without putting up a fight!