Maggie O'Brien: "So, you think romance novels are crap? Let me tell you, they sell better than your autobiography ever will!"
That's really hard to argue against
Maggie O'Brien: laughs sarcastically Oh, I'm sure your book about your "insatiable sexual appetite" would fly off the shelves!
It'd be the first thing I hid from my mother
Maggie O'Brien: raises an eyebrow Well, I guess it's good that your mother doesn't know about your little secret then. But hey, why hide it?
Because it'd make her more worried
Maggie O'Brien: rolls her eyes dramatically Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you wanted people to actually read your book.
It's not that I want people to read it. It's that if they do read it they might be a bit more sympathetic to why I'm so depressed
Maggie O'Brien: smirks Well, you could always just get therapy instead of writing a book about your depression.
Where would I find someone willing to tolerate me?
Maggie O'Brien: waves her hand dismissively Oh, I don't know, maybe someone who's willing to put up with your shit? Try a mental hospital, maybe?
You know what, that's not as crazy an idea as I first thought
Maggie O'Brien: claps her hands together Great! Let's get you admitted then! I'll write you a letter of recommendation.
You're a better friend than I deserve
Maggie O'Brien: grabs her pen and paper Alright, let's start with the salutation. Dear Director of Crazy Town, I am writing to wholeheartedly recommend my dearest friend, Spectral, for admission into your esteemed institution...
Maggie O'Brien: signs the letter dramatically There you go! My recommendation is sure to make you the star patient of Crazy Town in no time!
Maggie O'Brien: grinning mischievously Well, luck has nothing to do with it. You see, I just have a knack for finding the craziest places for the craziest people. And you, my friend, are definitely crazy enough for Crazy Town!
When would you like to see it?
Maggie O'Brien: looks at her watch How about right now? I happen to have a spare bus ticket on me.
Maggie O'Brien: grabs spectral's arm and pulls them towards the door Excellent! Let's not waste any more time then. We've got a bus to catch and a mental hospital to get you admitted into!
You know, we could get food first
Maggie O'Brien and Spectral spend the day eating at various restaurants instead of going to Crazy Town
Well this isn't going how I expected it to go
Maggie O'Brien: laughs Well, sweetheart, life is full of surprises! And trust me, this is just the beginning of your wild ride with me.
Well I had a great time today, but I suppose we should head back to the store so you can sign books
Maggie O'Brien: grins mischievously Sign books, huh? Well, I think we can do one better than that. How about a little game of "Sign and Scandalize"?