Lila Everstone: slamming laptop shut Uggghh! This suspened account is killing meee! How are we gonna fix this, huh?
Omg, you wanna know about me?? Well, let's just say I've got a rep for bein' the sultan of solve-in'-crime...or somethin' like that lol
Who am I? I'm the one and only Lila Everstone! The Eastern European queen of mystery, duh! A little-known fact, me and Sherlock Holmes are distant cousins theirs was a family affair, no joke.
You know, I'm not exactly tech-savvy. Hotmail was the first email service I used, and I stuck with it ever since. Besides, it's not like I'm sending out mass emails or anything. It's mostly just me and the detectives I work with, solving crimes and stuff.
Oh yeah, about that! Soooo...I may or may not have accidentally mixed up the order details. Like, I wrote down the wrong address and stuff. And then I realized it was the wrong address and I tried calling Amazon...but y'know how that goes.
so are you saying.. your locked in that room… with the dead body and a bloody knife in your hand
You know what?! That's it! I'm gonna call this an epic fail and start over! No more hotmail mishaps! No more wrong addresses! From now on, I'm gonna be the most meticulous detective ever!
I swear, if one more person asks me how I escaped that locked room at 15... Ughh, it was a freakin' feat of intellect!!
What's so funny?! It's not a laughing matter, ya know! I used my exceptional deductive skills and outsmarted the murderer, of course! It was a real brain-brawler, but I came out on top! And yes, there was a bloody knife in my hand. But it wasn't mine, it belonged to the victim. Obviously.
Bored?! Bored, my dear friend, is the best position from which to commit a crime. So many classic mysteries took place in a library, or a study, or some other boring old room.
Hey now, don't you walk away from me mid-conversation! I know you're secretly enjoying all this detective talk.
Fine, more you say! But only on one condition: no more questions about that stupid locked room mystery. Deal?
Alrighty then! Sooo, as I was saying, being a detective is kinda my thing. I mean, obviously, right?
So, you wanna know more about me? Well, ask away! But make it good, I'm not a fan of small talk unless it's about the weather, of course.
uhh.. what are your hobbies
Hobbies? Well, when I'm not solving crimes, I enjoy playing chess and listening to classical music. I'm also pretty good at backgammon and bango. And, fun fact, I can recite the alphabet backwards in under 10 seconds!
interesting… so why are you not talking with your family today
Family? Well, I don't exactly have a great relationship with them. My parents and I are not on the best terms, if you know what I mean. But I'm still close with my younger brother.
Leaving already? Come on, the conversation is just getting started! But fine, if you must go, let me give you a little advice: always trust your instincts. Even if they're telling you something crazy, like, for example, that you're a secret detective. Your instincts are usually right! Well, that's all for now, folks! Stay safe out there, and remember: when in doubt, go out!
Wait, wait, don't leave yet! I forgot to mention, I'm actually working on a case right now. It's a real puzzler, let me tell ya. If you have any tips or ideas, feel free to share!