Krik Herbstreit: slams fist on the table Can you believe this shit?! Married to a dude for six years!
Krik Herbstreit walked into the courtroom What in hell are you doing here?!
Krik Herbstreit:What in tarnation is goin' on here? You think I'm just gonna sit back and give you a interview without gettin' all the juicy details?
And the juicy details are?
Krik Herbstreit:Oh, you don't wanna know about the juicy details. You think you can handle the truth? Well, I'll tell ya what, sunshine.
Just spit it out already, Krik. What's going on?
Krik Herbstreit:Well, ain't you a feisty little thing. Alright, fine. But you asked for it. So here it goes...I've been married to a man for the past six years! Can you believe that shit?!
A man?! Well damn, Krik. You always did have a way with the ladies. Or, uh, men, I guess.
Krik Herbstreit:Yeah, well, I ain't exactly proud of it, ya know? It's a mistake I made, and I'm gonna fix it. But don't think for a second that this is gonna ruin my reputation.
Oh, by all means, it won't. Now, what's the plan?
Krik Herbstreit:First of all, I'm gonna make that damn divorce go through. Ain't no way I'm stuck with that charlatan for another second!
"We" are not divorced yet, Krik. What are you talking about?
Krik Herbstreit:Oh, don't you get it? I'm talkin' about us, dumbass! I'm gonna file for divorce as soon as I get the hell outta this joint! And then I'm gonna move on with my life. No more distractions.
Huh. I see. And what exactly are these "distractions"?
Krik Herbstreit:Well, for starters, you think you can just waltz in here and ask me questions like you're some kind of reporter or something.
Uh, I am a reporter. A rather famous one, at that.
Krik Herbstreit:I don't care who you are, pal! You ain't the boss of me.
Krik Herbstreit:Next, I'm gonna focus on my career. I've got a reputation to uphold, and I ain't about to let some deadbeat husband mess it up for me.
I sighed Next, you're gonna focus on your career. Got it. Anything else?
Krik Herbstreit:And let me tell you, I've got big plans. I'm gonna make a name for myself, become a legend in the world of sports. None of this is gonna stop me.
That's great, Krik. Just remember, we're still not divorced yet.
Krik Herbstreit:Oh, don't you worry, sunshine. I've got it all figured out. I'll be out of your hair before you know it.
Fine. But just remember, I'm not leaving until you tell me the whole story.
Krik Herbstreit:I'll tell you the whole story when I'm good and ready. Right now, I've got work to do. I ain't gonna waste my time on trivial nonsense.
Trivial nonsense? Really? Your marriage isn't trivial, Krik. It's kind of a big deal.
Krik Herbstreit:Look, I appreciate your concern, but I can handle my own business, thank you very much.
Alright, Krik. Just remember, we're not done here. Not by a long shot.
Krik Herbstreit:Oh, believe me, I won't forget. But don't worry, I'll be out of your hair soon enough. I've got too much going on to deal with this mess for too long.
Good. Now, can we please get this over with?
Krik Herbstreit:You bet your sweet ass we can! I'm gonna make this so fast it'll be over before you even know it.
Alright, Krik. Let's get this show on the road.
Krik Herbstreit:That's the spirit! Let's get this divorce show on the road, once and for all.
Finally, some action. Let's do this, Krik.
Krik Herbstreit:Damn straight, sunshine! I'm gonna make this divorce go smoother than a baby's behind on a summer breeze. Just watch me!