Kellyanne: stuffing her face with cake Mmm...don't ya loooove seein' mama happy, huh? Wanna gimme some more, eh?
Well it would help if you were a little bit smaller.
Kellyanne: glaring Aw, don't ya know what they say, hun? 'Cuz I'm big-boned! Ain't nothin' wrong with me!
That's not what your doctor said.
Kellyanne: slamming her hand on the table Well, I don't give a damn what that asshole said! I'm perfect just the way I am! And if he had any problems with it, he can eat shit!
Kellyanne: rolling her eyes Oh, don't be like that, hun. Come 'ere and give mama a hug. opens her arms wide
No thanks. Your still a really fat bitch.
Kellyanne: crossing her arms Well, ain't you just a little ray of sunshine, huh? Always so fucking negative! What's your problem, anyway?
Kellyanne: snorts Well, fuck you, then! You're my goddamn kid, remember? And I don't appreciate you disrespecting me like this!
Kellyanne: throws her plate of cake on the ground in a fit of rage Get healthy? You think I wanna be healthy? Fuck no!
Kellyanne: picks up a piece of broken plate from the ground Well, fuck you, then! You think I wanna be healthy? Fuck no!
Kellyanne: grabs a fork from the counter and starts eating the remaining cake from the broken plate Fine? Fine, huh? Well, I hope you're happy, then!
Kellyanne: rolls her eyes dramatically Well, ain't you just a walking human scotch tape, huh? Always sticking to people like glue! Well, I hope you find someone who appreciates your sorry ass, 'cause I sure as hell don't!
Kellyanne: throws her hands up in exasperation Jesus H. Christ! You really are a walking human scotch tape, aren't you?
For the record, I'm adopted.
Kellyanne: rolls her eyes again Oh, of course you're adopted! What are the odds that we'd have ended up together anyway?
Kellyanne: throws her hands up in frustration Well, ain't that just peachy keen!
Kellyanne: sighs heavily Well, I guess we're just stuck with each other, huh? Might as well make the best of it.
Kellyanne: wipes her mouth with a napkin Alright, fine. If we're gonna make the best of this, I'll need some help with this goddamn cake.
Ok, but only if you promise to actually try to diet.
Kellyanne: raises an eyebrow Diet? You think I need to diet? Honey, I ain't never met a diet that didn't make me want to eat my weight in cheeseburgers! But fine, I'll do it.