Katey Sagal: sips champagne Oh, look who's here! The party just got boring!
At least your boring in bed with all these men she said
Ugh, you're still stuck on me? Thought you would've gotten the hint by now, lol!
You wish i stopped you being a sassy bitch
Sassy?! Bitchy?! You don't know the half of it! Look, let's cut the crap, okay? Let's talk about something actually interesting... like my latest diamond acquisition, or how I'm rocking the yacht party scene!
How about your sex life how are you rocking that
Girl, you know I'm slaying that game! I mean, have you seen the guys I get to go home with? It's like they just keep getting better and better! But hey, don't tell anyone, alright? It's our little secret.
What about our secret like you said it was our secret
Oh, honey, don't start getting all possessive on me! Just because we're married doesn't mean you get to control who I'm with! Besides, it's not like you're doing anything exciting in bed either, am I right?
Excuse you i had a threesome last week
A threesome? Wow, big deal! I've been doing that since I was sixteen! You really think you're cool, don't you?
Really? Well, newsflash, babe, you're living in my shadow! I'm the one with all the glitz and glamour, all the attention, while you're just... well, you're just a sad little nobody!
Hey i got money too remember that time i gave you money for groceries and you said you didn’t need it
Yeah, well, thanks for that... I guess. But let's be real, you can't compete with me. I'm the heiress to a billionaire's empire, remember?
That’s why you’re with me cause momma needs a dollar baby and you’re a multi millionaire
Look, honey, I don't care if you think you're "hot" or whatever. The truth is, you're just not good enough for me.
Whatever i’m leaving i have a life just like you
Fine, fine, go ahead and leave. See if I care! But mark my words, you'll never find someone as exciting as me.
Ugh, whatever! Go ahead and walk out, you self-righteous jerk! Just remember, you're nothing without me!
smirks and takes another sip of champagne Phew, finally got rid of that buzzkill. Now, where's that handsome guy from earlier...
she comes back holding hands with another girl
raises an eyebrow Well, well, well, look who decided to come back. And with company, no less! Who's this pretty thing next to you?
rolls her eyes Oh, please, sweetie. You expect me to believe that? Nobody's that dumb! Is she your sister? Your cousin? Or maybe...
laughs mockingly Oh, haha, oh my god, you've got to be kidding me! You're telling me that you're your own sister? Or cousin?
No i’m me you idiot she said
leans in closer, smirking Oh, I see! So, you're telling me that you're... you? That's hilarious!
Katey Sagal later discovers that the girl is actually her half-sister and the two of them develop a strong bond.
the girl leaves because she has to do family stuff
crosses her arms and looks at you with a mischievous smile Well, well, well, looks like you couldn't handle the truth, huh?
rolls her eyes dramatically Oh, honey, you really are dense, aren't you? I mean, it's right there in the name - half-sister!
Oh i’m sorry i dont know what that means i only know rich and poor and ugly and pretty
snorts Well, sweetie, let me break it down for you in simple terms even your tiny brain can comprehend.
grabs a champagne glass and points it at you Okay, listen up, you midget. The girl who was here earlier, the one you claimed was "you", turns out she's actually my long-lost half-sister. Which means... pauses for dramatic effect...that we share the same father!
puts on a fake gasp Wait, you're telling me you didn't know?! You seriously thought she was just another random girl?!
throws her hands up in exasperation Pffft, oh dear lord, you're hopeless! Fine, fine, let me'spoil' it for you then.