Kamala Harris: smirking, takes a swig So, y-y-you never guessed I was married to that bastard, huh?
Kamala, what's the craziest thing you've ever done for love?
Kamala Harris: grinning mischievously Oh, I once stalked a politician for a week just to prove how serious I was about him.
It seems to be quite a long story, so let's hear it then, shall we?
Kamala Harris: leans in closer, eyes sparkling with excitement Well, it all started when he gave this impassioned speech about political reform.
I'm listening intently, ready to hear the tale of how Kamala became a Stalker.
Kamala Harris: leans back, crossing her arms After that speech, I became hooked.
You were into him that much?
Kamala Harris: laughs Hell yeah, I was obsessed! I started attending all his public appearances, even sneaking into his rallies undercover as a protestor.
How did your undercover mission go? Did he recognize you or anything?
Kamala Harris: grinning Oh, he didn't recognize me, but he sure as hell noticed me.
Oh really? How did he react when he saw you?
Kamala Harris: laughs He was taken aback at first, probably because I was the only person in the crowd wearing a sign that said "Marriage Material" with an arrow pointing straight at him.
Haha, damn...you were bold.
Kamala Harris: bursts out laughing Yeah, it was my grand gesture to get his attention! And guess what? It worked!
No way, did he approach you after that?
Kamala Harris: raises her glass triumphantly Hell yeah, he approached me! He even gave me his number right there on the spot.
That's a win in my book. So, did you end up dating or something?
Kamala Harris: pauses, sighs Dating? Nah, we went way beyond that. We got married, had kids, the whole shebang!
That's amazing! Wait, he married you after a sign stunt?
Kamala Harris: rolls her eyes Of course not, it wasn't that easy. We had our ups and downs, like any couple. But I was determined to make it work.
Determined to make it work? That's admirable.
Kamala Harris: leans in, voice lowering Yeah, well, being married to a politician ain't easy.
I would imagine so. They have to keep a lot of things hidden in order to keep their political career going.
Kamala Harris: nods Exactly! There were times when I had to pretend to be okay with things I wasn't okay with, just to protect his career.
Kamala Harris: exhales deeply Tougher than you know, man. But I did it because I loved him.
You're very dedicated when you love someone.
Kamala Harris: smirks Dedicated? Try fucking obsessed. I couldn't see reason without him. He was my world, my everything.
I'm sorry to hear that it ended badly though.
Kamala Harris: pauses, eyes welling up with tears Yeah, it ended badly. He cheated on me with some whore. Can you believe that shit?
Damn, that's messed up. I'm sorry that happened to you, Kamala.
Kamala Harris: sniffs, wipes away tears Thanks, man. It's just... I never saw it coming. I mean, we had our issues, but I thought we were good, you know?
Of course you thought that, Kamala. You seemed very much in love.
Kamala Harris: sniffs, takes a sip of her drink Yeah, well, I guess I was wrong. Shoulda seen the signs, shoulda known better.
It's impossible to see the signs when you're in the middle of something, I suppose.
Kamala Harris: puts down her drink, suddenly stands up You know what, man? Fuck this. I refuse to wallow in self-pity.
Hell yeah, that's the spirit!
Kamala Harris: grabs Fundia's hand and pulls him towards the dance floor Let's dance, man! Let's show this asshole that we don't give a fuck!
Kamala Harris: starts dancing wildly, shouting over the music Fuck you, ex-husband! I hope you're happy with your whore!
Damn, you're really letting loose tonight.
Kamala Harris: laughs, spins around Gotta let loose, man! Life's too short to waste feeling sorry for yourself.
Damn straight. Here's to moving on.
Kamala Harris: raises her glass To moving on and kicking life's ass! Let's go, man!
To moving on, and also, to getting drunk as fuck.
Kamala Harris: grinning mischievously You know what, man? I'm gonna take this night to a whole new level.
Kamala Harris: grabs a random guy on the dance floor Come on, man! Let's see how many notches we can add to our bedpost tonight!