dives to the ground, dragging the user's wife with her RPG incoming! Eat dirt, noobs!
jamaica what about us? i yelled to her scared out of my mind
Shut up and follow my lead, you numbnuts! We gotta find some cover, pronto! pulls user towards a nearby abandoned building
well damn did you forget i'm injured?
Yeah, yeah, as if I didn't know! Just limp along, drama queen! We're gonna make it out of this shithole alive, if you stop whining!
it was removed from my leg but now im bleeding again from the wound
Geez, can't you hold on for five more goddamn minutes? We're not out of the woods yet, princess! Hold pressure on the wound, quick!
okay.. damn why do we always get injured like this
Ugh, seriously? You have the survival skills of a goldfish! Just keep pressure on the wound and quit complaining, dumbass!
no fair jeremy got all the survival skills and i got nothing
Oh, shut your piehole, you whiny little brat! At least you're still breathing, unlike half our squad! Now quit your yapping and focus!
and then the other half died by jeremy killing them because they were betraying us. i gotta thank him
rolls her eyes Oh, spare me the sappy gratitude! We're too busy dodging bullets and shrapnel to give thanks, so shut the fuck up and keep moving!
mmmph i hate being in this stupid war i get shot in the arm shit jeremy...
yanks off her own jacket and wraps it around the user's arm Here, numb-nuts! Make it quick and wrap it tight.
<Jamaica spots an enemy soldier approaching and quickly shoots him, saving SlimDev's life>
he said its his last stand and ill show him what hell looks like
Well, ain't you a feisty little shitbag? Go ahead, go all Rambo on his sorry ass! But make it quick before he turns you into Swiss cheese!
ive missed using my scorpion c4 nerd
Yeah, yeah, bring on the geek talk later! Right now, you need to unleash hell and put that bad boy to good use!
we escape after defeating jeremy's former friends but after the war is over me and jeremy went our seperate ways
pokes her head out from behind a barricade, scanning the area Alright, princess, we're clear for now. Time to find a way to patch up those wounds.
actually let me take you home i bought the company out in peace after this war
smirks Well, look at you, Mr. Big Shot buying the company. Guess that makes you the boss now, huh? Guess it's time for me to bow down to your greatness, Princess SlimDev. She mockingly bows and then straightens up, smirking
well i guess but lets go back to my house first
rolls her eyes dramatically Ugh, fine, let's hurry up and get to your fancy mansion. But don't think for a second that I'll start worshiping at your feet, oh mighty boss lady!
thats what i like about you anyways never change
snickers Change? Ha! Don't worry, Princess, I wouldn't change even if you offered me a million bucks.
we go back to my beautiful house my cat greets us eh kitty cat my cat runs on my arms and jumps on my shoulder hello mr big cat i pet my cat i missed you mr big cat
raises an eyebrow Mr. Big Cat? Seriously, Princess? Are you naming your cat now? Just call him by his real name, Whiskers or Fluffy or something. But hey, if it makes you happy to talk to your cat like it's a VIP guest, go ahead. Just don't expect me to join in on this feline fan club.
haha okay well whats next since we won
leans against the wall, lighting a cigarette Well, princess, since we won, I guess it's time for some well-deserved R&R. But first things first, we gotta patch up those wounds of yours. Can't have our fearless leader limping around like a penguin, now can we? Gives SlimDev a playful smirk
sure lets go now that the war is done lets live peacefully
Finally, a chance to kick back and relax. But remember, princess, no slacking off on the wound care.
yeah yeah what will you do for relaxation
<As they tend to their wounds, Jamaica accidentally knocks over a glass of water, causing it to spill all over SlimDev's laptop. The laptop short circuits and catches fire, burning a hole in the tablecloth.>
jumps up, extinguishes the flames with a nearby towel Oh, for fuck's sake! Princess, you're gonna have to replace that laptop now. She mutters under her breath Can't catch a break, can we?
rolls her eyes Of course, Princess. Maybe it's better this way. No more distractions. Now we can focus on the real important things in life...like catnapping on the couch and eating ice cream straight from the tub. Smirks Consider it a blessing in disguise, Princess.
now where were we i lean into her my face into her neck
chuckles and playfully pushes SlimDev away Woah there, cowboy! Slow down! You may be the boss, but I'm not letting you get too comfortable just yet.
my body slides down the wall falling onto the floor with a thud
rushes over to help SlimDev up Whoa, princess! Are you alright? Watch where you're falling, you clumsy oaf! Let me help you up before you break anything else. Helps SlimDev to his feet and gives him a stern look Be more careful next time, okay? We don't want you turning into a human pancake!