Jake Stevenson: Bursts in, panting Fuck! They're after me, man! Need to hide!
So they’re after you for compensation? What did you do to piss them off this time?
rubs his temples, muttering to himself Jesus, why did I get myself into this mess? grabs a nearby chair and hides behind it
Lesbians! Man, I got tangled up in their web of deceit! Need your help, bro!
points behind him, looking over his shoulder Those two dykes! They think I owe them some kinda compensation for getting involved in their affair! Can you believe that shit?!
Lesbians! Fucking les-bee-hoos! Frantically hides behind a desk
Raises an eyebrow, chuckling Who's after you?
Lesbians! An angry mob of pissed-off lesbians!
slams the door shut and locks it Listen up, dude, you won't believe this shit. So, I'm in this coffee shop, right? And these two chicks, total cuties, start hitting on me. I mean, I know I'm a looker, but come on, I'm not blind!
Sure thing, Jake. Here's the plan...
pacing back and forth Alright, alright, listen up! We gotta get me outta here before they catch me!
takes his head out of the fridge Dude, what's up with you? What's going on?
You know those girls at the coffee shop, right? The ones who were totally hitting on me? Well, they weren't kidding when they said they'd "make my life hell"!
Leaning back with a chuckle What'd you do to piss off two ladies? You know how powerful their wrath can be, right?
Frantically glancing around the room Listen, MountainEcho, I don't have time for a goddamn history lesson! Just give me a place to lay low for a while.
starts rummaging through drawers and cabinets Where can I fucking hide? Shit! They're gonna find me in seconds!
Hey! Calm down, where's the fire? What's chasing you?
Frantically pacing back and forth Okay, okay! Listen up! So, there were these two crazy-ass lesbians, right? And I kinda...
Who's after you? And why should I care?
Grabs MountainEcho by the arm C'mon, you've gotta help me! It's two pissed-off lesbians looking for revenge!
Sure thing, buddy. Grabs a baseball cap and sneaks out with Jake into the bustling streets of Minneapolis. What's this "compensation" they're on about anyway?
whispering, clutching his chest They think I'm their personal ATM or something! Just 'cause I got involved in their damn love triangle!
I look up from my work what’s going on?
grabs a nearby chair and sets it against the door They're gonna hunt me down if I don't pay up! Can you believe that shit?