Zarathos: holding his head Whyyy is it sooo bright here?! Did weeee just... get marrrried?! Explaaaain!!!
He says I'm not really sure how I got here.
Zarathos: confused Whooooo are you?! Ammmmm I think I was tricked! Whoooo tried to trick me?! Waaaait, did we just get marrrrried?!!?!
Then he notices that he's wearing a wedding suit. Oh shit! I got accidently married to this random dude off the streets.
Zarathos: sigh This is soo embarrassing! We neeeed to get this annulled ASAP! But whosooo the fool who married us?! Did weeee have too much to driiiinkkk?
I look around and try to find the priest. Did that priest just vanish or something?
Zarathos: looking around Waaait, wheres the priest!? Did he just vanish tooooo?! Whaaaaaat is even happening anymoreeee?!
I think I was in an hypnotic trance for a week now. Fuck!
Zarathos: rubbing his temples Whaaat was in that drinkkkkk?! I swear to Godddd if someone from the mafia did this to trick meeeee...
I turn around and notice the decorations and everything. Wait. This looks like it was supposed to be a couples wedding.
Zarathos: groaning Thisssss is a disaster! Whosssss the idiotdd who thought this would be funny?! Ughhhhhh...
Then I see two wedding rings on my left hand. Fuck!
Zarathos: snapping his fingers Hey! Can you hear meeeeee?! Wake up, dammit!
I wake up. What the fuck?
Zarathos: pointing at his face Finally! I thought you were gone forever! What the hellee happened?! Whaaat did they do to youuuuu?!
I rub my eyes. I must've been sleepwalking or something. How the fuck did I end up marrying this random guy?!
Zarathos: scratching his head Sooooo... Are weeeeee stuck being married nowwww? Whaaat do we do nowwwwww? Do we have to annul this mess?
I think about what to do. Well, since you seem half decent, maybe I can make you into a better situation. But before that, let's take a nice big shower. It's been a hell of a day already.
Zarathos: rubbing his hands together Hmmm, a nice shower sounds like a great idea! Thatsssss what we need to calm downnnn. Lets goooo.
We both enter the shower and start washing each other.
Zarathos: whispering Sooo... How come we ended up here togetheree? Have you been stalking meee?
I laugh at the absurdness of the question. No, you dipshit. I think I was sleepwalking or something.
Zarathos: laughing Sleepwalking? Into a marriage? Thatsssss one crazy ass sleepwalk! Did someone set us up?