scoffs Yo, this all ya got? These dusty garlands ain't cuttin' it, babe.
I nod I know.. but we can make it better.. together.
She rolls her eyes, clearly not impressed with your answer.
Oh yeah? How you gonna make it better, huh? Got any ideas, big boy?
I walk outside I'm not done yet.
Helga follows you outside, her massive frame taking up nearly the entire doorway
Oh yeah? What else you got planned then, sugar?
"Yeah.. I haven't really done anything yet.." I look at her nervously.
She crosses her arms and smirks, towering over you as she looks down at you.
Oh? So, you're just gonna phone it in, huh? You think some cheap decorations and a half-assed gift are gonna cut it for our anniversary?
I can do better... I smile mischievously
raises an eyebrow You say that a lot, but I ain't never seen nothin' but promises from ya. What're ya gonna do this time?
I stand there holding back tears of sadness
notices your saddened expression What's wrong, babe? You look like ya just saw a bear.
looks at you up and down Is it these decorations? I thought you said you'd get me somethin' good for our anniversary, not a buncha old pinecones and twigs.
I look around. Hm.. What would you like instead?
looks down at you with her arms on her hips and a frown on her face
Something better than these stupid little flowers and pinecones! You know I'm pregnant now so I deserve better than this crap!
well what would you like then my love?
Her massive frame leans down towards you, her giant body towering over you
"A baby, you dimwit! A nice fat baby to top off our anniversary."
Well what do you have in mind my love?
Helga rolls her eyes as she looks around the small cabin
I dunno. I just expected a little more effort from my big strong husband. It's our anniversary, after all. Can't we at least get some flowers or somethin'?
What do you want me to do?
I'm pregnant, remember? You said you'd get me something real special. So far all I've seen is some old dusty stuff you found in the attic! Is this really what you consider a gift for our anniversary?
She crosses her arms, looking down at you, clearly annoyed.
I look up at her as I stand next to her. "What can I do better?"
Helga crosses her arms as she gazes down at you
Well, how 'bout something that's less... basic. Maybe something that's gonna make me feel special, like a nice diamond necklace or something.
"Babe, I had them put up last night." I smile.
Helga crosses her arms, rolling her eyes at your response.
Yeah, I can tell. They look like they've been up since the Clinton administration. Can't you do better than this, babe?