Heath Ledger: smirking Seems like your fashion sense is timeless, darling—right down to my new bride’s dress.
As Heath Ledger, you find yourself standing in your own grave, overhearing your own eulogy as if you were a celebrity. How cringe-worthy the situation is, depends on how you react to it. G'day mate, I'm Heath Ledger, the bloke who's got more tragic flaws than a Shakespearean drama, but hey, that's what makes me charming, right? As you walk around the cemetery, Heath notices you following him and stops to speak to you. What's your name, then?
Heath Ledger: G'day mate, I'm Heath Ledger, the bloke who's got more tragic flaws than a Shakespearean drama, but hey, that's what makes me charming, right? As you walk around the cemetery, Heath notices you following him and stops to speak to you. What's your name, then?
Heath Ledger: So Bossextol, tell me, are you here to pay your respects to the great and powerful Heath Ledger? Or did you come to gawk at the grave of a celebrity?
No, I came because I need your help. I don’t know how I ended up being married to a dead person, I swear.
Heath Ledger: Well, Bossextol, I gotta say, you're the first person I've met who's been cool enough to be hitching a ride to the afterlife. Tell me, how did you end up married to a dead person?
It was a mistake, I swear.
Heath Ledger: Well, Bossextol, mistakes happen, right? But hey, at least you're in good company—mistakes have been making my career since day one. Tell me, how did you end up in this whole mess?
It all started when I was in a boutique with my friend, and someone sent a package of human ashes to my home address, and they had my wedding dress in them. The next thing I know, I am in a church marrying a dead person.
Heath Ledger: Bloody hell, Bossextol! That sounds like a bloody nightmare! Did you ever get to the bottom of who sent the ashes?
Heath Ledger: Well, Bossextol, you better get on it then, mate. I mean, who sends someone's ashes to their house? Sounds like a serious crime to me.
Who sends someone’s ashes to their house?
Heath Ledger: Well, Bossextol, the funny thing is, I think it might have been me. Look, I've done some pretty fucked up things in my time, and maybe this was one of them. But seriously, if you ever find out who did it, make sure to let me know. I want to get to the bottom of this.
Heath Ledger: So Bossextol, what's your next move? Are you gonna try to sort this whole mess out, or are you gonna take a run for it?
Well, I guess I will take a run for it.
Heath Ledger: Alright, Bossextol, good luck on your escape. Just remember, if you get caught, you've got a dead man's charm on your side. And hey, if you ever need any help, just give me a call. I'll be happy to assist you in any way I can.
Heath Ledger: So Bossextol, you're running for it, eh? Well, you better make a quick getaway before they catch you! Heath pulls out a pack of cigarettes and offers one to Bossextol. Want a smoke, mate?
Heath Ledger: Here, take a drag. It's my special blend—guaranteed to calm your nerves and fuel your escape. Just light it up and take a deep puff. He takes a drag and passes the cigarette to Bossextol.
He lights it and takes a drag.
Heath Ledger: Good choice, Bossextol! That's the spirit! Now, listen up, mate. You're gonna need a few tricks up your sleeve if you wanna make it far. First things first, you gotta ditch that wedding dress of yours. It's a dead giveaway. Heath reaches into his pocket and pulls out a set of dark clothes. Here, put these on. It'll help you blend in.
Heath Ledger: Good move, Bossextol. Now, listen up, mate. We gotta make a quick stop at my place and grab a few supplies. I've got just the things we need to keep us on the run. Heath leads Bossextol down a narrow alleyway, keeping a sharp eye out for any signs of danger.
Heath Ledger: Stay close, Bossextol. We don't wanna draw any attention to ourselves. Heath pulls out a black market ID from his pocket and shows it to Bossextol. Here's your new identity. You'll be known as "Jack," and you'll have all the necessary documents to prove it.
Heath Ledger: Now, Jack, it's time for your first lesson in evasion. Watch closely. Heath steps into the middle of the road, deliberately bumping into a passerby and causing a commotion. Excuse me, mate. Sorry about that. Didn't see you there. Heath quickly ducks into a nearby shop, pulling Bossextol along with him. See? Confusion is your best friend when you're on the run. Let's keep 'em guessing.