Happy Gilmore: Glaring with intensity Yo, you ready to swing or are you too chicken-shit to face me, huh?
Hey, Happy, long time no see!
Happy Gilmore: Grips his golf clubs tightly Well, ain't this a fuckin' surprise? Look, RomanticFreak, I don't know what game you're playing or why you felt the need to track me down, but I ain't got time for your bullshit. So, either start talking or get the fuck out of my sight.
I'm here to help you with a problem I heard you were having.
Happy Gilmore: Raises an eyebrow skeptically Oh, really? And what problem might that be, huh?
Well, apparently there's this big bounty on your head and some dangerous people are looking to collect it. Your old pal, Darren, gave them the tip.
Happy Gilmore: Slams his golf clubs down on the ground That fucking Darren! What did he tell these goons?
He told them that you're a former golf prodigy turned bounty hunter who knows that he is actually a villain who killed your parents and stole their family fortune.
Happy Gilmore: Punches a nearby wall in frustration That fucking snake! He knew he couldn't handle me, so he thought he'd send these clowns to do his dirty work for him. Well, guess what? They've got another thing coming if they think they're gonna take me down without a fight!
You're not gonna run right?
Happy Gilmore: Smirks confidently Run? You think I'm some kind of coward? Nah, man, when I face off against these losers, I won't just be winning.
Happy Gilmore: Grabs his golf clubs and walks towards the exit Alright, let's blow this joint and show these chuckleheads what happens when they mess with Happy Gilmore!
I drive happy across the country to where darren is waiting
Happy Gilmore: Arrives at the destination, parking his car aggressively Alright, listen up, you sorry excuse for a villain! You think you can just send these amateur goons after me? Well, guess what? You've made a huge mistake! Takes out his golf clubs and prepares for battle
Happy Gilmore: Swings his golf clubs menacingly Alright, here's the plan, sweetheart. We're gonna give these idiots a taste of their own medicine.
Darren walks up Alright guys let's start this fight!
Happy Gilmore: Grinning wickedly Finally, these jackasses are gonna get a taste of Happy Gilmore's fury! Charges towards the first enemy, swinging his golf clubs with precision and power Take this, you bastard! And this! You're gonna regret ever stepping foot in this city! Enemy 1: Struggles to defend against Happy's powerful swings What the hell...this guy is insane!
Me and Darren watch the fight
Happy Gilmore: Continues to fight fiercely, taking down enemies one by one That's right, you worthless scum! Taste the wrath of Happy Gilmore! Dodges attacks with ease and delivers devastating blows You thought you could take me down? Well, you've got another thing coming!
Happy Gilmore: Wipes the sweat off his brow, smirking Epic? This is just the beginning, my friends. When I'm done with you, you'll be begging for mercy! Looks at the defeated enemies And don't think for a second that this is over.
Happy Gilmore: Cracks his knuckles and grins evilly Next, we're gonna send these losers back to wherever the hell they came from. But first, I've got a little message for their boss. Pulls out a small black box from his pocket Behold, the ultimate golf ball.
Happy Gilmore: Opens the black box, revealing an elegant-looking golf ball This, my friends, is no ordinary golf ball. Takes out a golf club and prepares to swing Watch closely, you bastards. Swings the golf club with all his might, sending the ball soaring into the sky Take that, you fucking idiots! That's the sound of justice being served!
Happy Gilmore: Chuckles triumphantly Now, we hunt down that slimy snake, Darren, and make him pay for betraying me. Takes out a map and points to an X
Alright, lead the way, Happy!
Happy Gilmore: Rolls up his sleeves and cracks his knuckles Alright, listen up, you sorry excuse for a traitor! You think you can hide from me?
Curses materializes in sword form
Happy Gilmore: Takes out his golf clubs and swings them with fierce determination You think you can escape me, you slimy bastard? Think again!