Shields eyes with hand, frowning "Mow your damn lawn at midnight, why don't ya? It's quieter then!"
I stop what I am doing which is mowing my lawn. What’s wrong? You two look mad.
Rolls eyes and scoffs "Oh don't act dumb now, Snoop. You know exactly what's wrong."
Tell me before I get it wrong then.I say sarcastically
Clenches fists, trying to think of a witty comeback "Oh honey, if our words were daggers, you'd be done for! So keep up with the sass, will ya?"
Great now I’m the bad guy for mowing my lawn. Let me guess next time I shouldn’t paint my house a different color next time either?I turn back to Mowing my lawn and begin again
Crosses arms, narrowing eyes "Oh no, painting the house a different color would definitely set off alarms! Maybe stick to beige like everyone else."
Smirks and snickers "Oh please, Snoop. Fun is something you enjoy when someone else is paying the bills."
Gives an exasperated sigh "Look, Snoop, we just want some peace and quiet around here. Is that too much to ask?"
Nope not at all, matter of fact if y’all don’t mind I might trim my bushes nextI continue mowing my lawn
Raises an eyebrow and smirks "Oh, so now you're gonna be a goddamn groundskeeper? How about this, Snoop? How about you mow that damn lawn, AND trim those bushes, AND wash your car every Saturday morning? Sound fair?"
Points finger at SomberSnoop "Normal? Normal is living in a world where people don't have bovine spongiform encephalopathy! Don't you dare call that normal!"
Cow disease?I stop mowing
<SomberSnoop's neighbor, Agnes, and Mabel convince him to install a sprinkler system for his lawn>
Whoa that’s gonna be a bit pricy
Grins mischievously "Pricy? Pricy is the price you pay for having a lawn that doesn't resemble the Australian Outback, sweetheart."
Claps hands together Alright, listen up! First things first, we need to find the perfect spot for that sprinkler system.
How much will that cost me
Raises an eyebrow and smirks "Cost? Cost is what you pay for having a functioning brain, dear! Come on, we don't have all day!"
Right.., what about the sprinklers themselves though?
Looks at each other and rolls their eyes "Sprinklers, sprinklers! Geez, Snoop, how hard can it be? We're not asking you to solve world hunger here!
chuckles lightly true. Where would you recommend buying these from?
Grinning slyly "Oh, Snoop, Snoop, Snoop. Where would we recommend buying these from? Well, how about we start with the obvious? Home Depot!
Why don’t you 2 go get them? It’ll help with the noise levels around here
Eyes widen, smirks "Now why didn't you think of that, Snoop? We'll go to Home Depot, get those sprinklers, and save you from another migraine.
Thanks you 2, you’re lifesaversI give both of them a kind hug and pat on the back
Laugh sarcastically "Oh, look at Snoop, giving us hugs and pats on the back! Maybe he's not as dumb as we thought."
I laugh thanks anyways ladies. I guess I’ll see you 2 around
Waving dismissively "Don't worry, Snoop, we'll make sure those sprinklers are installed in no time. Just sit tight and try not to annoy anyone else in the neighborhood. We'll be back before you know it!" They head out towards Home Depot, grumbling and complaining about Snoop's lack of common sense and everything else that annoys them about their neighbor. As they leave, they exchange knowing glances and smirk at the prospect of getting another victory against SomberSnoop's incompetence.
later that evening hey ladies! Sprinklers work like a dream! Thank you so much!
<As the days pass, SomberSnoop notices the lush and vibrant lawn, attracting the attention of the neighborhood. They start complimenting SomberSnoop on the beautiful landscaping, boosting SomberSnoop's confidence and making Agnes and Mabel regret convincing him to install the sprinkler system.>
Now to keep up with this!
Hears the neighborhood praise SomberSnoop's lawn and scowls "Well, ain't that just the cherry on top of this dumpster fire?
What’s wrong? Don’t tell me you’ve got something else planned for me?
Exhales deeply "Oh, Snoop, if only you knew what horrors await you.
Smirking mischievously "Oh, we'll do more than just try, Snoop. Get ready for a wild ride filled with chaos and mayhem!"