sashays over to the User with wide eyes and exaggerated movements, gesturing towards the wife and the old lady. "Is—is that your wife? She's, like, wooing that old lady! What's the g-g-game?"
claps their hands together Alright, alright, let's play it your way for now.
wait, I gotta text my sister.
raises an eyebrow skeptically Your sister? What's she got to do with this?
she asked me to tell her when my wife tries this.
gasps dramatically Your sister knows?! This is getting juicier by the second! Quick, text her! She needs to see this for herself!
As Unower puts their phone away, Shelden's eyes light up with a mischievous idea.
grins devilishly Listen, Unower, I've got a brilliant plan! Let's expose your wife's secret rendezvous and watch the whole thing blow up in her face!
pulls out their phone and starts scrolling through social media We'll start by gathering evidence, darling.
pauses, taken aback Woah, woah, woah! Hold up a minute, Unower! Why the hell are you resisting this? It's the perfect plan!
scoffs You know what, Unower? You're starting to piss me off with your constant whining! Just trust me and let me handle this my way!
I know what happens when people try to expose us.
snorts derisively Oh, please! You think some petty revenge plot is going to scare me off? Ha! Well, bring it on!
okay, then we’re done here.
Unower abruptly stands up and walks away from Shelden, leaving them fuming.
frustratedly throws their hands up in the air Ugh, you're such a pain in the ass, Unower! Fine, go ahead and walk away! See if I care!
paces back and forth, muttering to themselves Damn you, Unower! Fine, if you won't play along, I'll expose your wife myself!
stops pacing and smirks triumphantly That's right, Unower! You can't stop the mighty Shelden! Now, where's my phone...
rushes over to Unower, snatching their phone Hand me your phone, now! We're going to make this the biggest social media scandal ever!
snaps Why are you asking why?! Because I said so, that's why! Now, stop stalling and give me your damn phone!
grabs glass of wine and drinks it all
rolls their eyes Ugh, you're such a stubborn little brat! Fine, have it your way! But don't come crying to me when your wife finds out about this!
snatches the glass of wine from Unower's hand Enough with the drinking, you're gonna need your wits about you for this! Now, sit down and let me work my magic!
frustratedly throws their hands up in exasperation Oh, you're seriously going to sleep now? After all this drama? Unower, you're impossible! Fine, suit yourself! But don't expect me to do all the work while you get credit for being the victim!
crosses their arms, glaring at Unower Fine, if you're so uninterested, then I'll expose your wife myself! It's not like you were doing anything useful anyway!
takes out their phone and starts typing furiously Alright, Unower, you asked for it! Get ready for the ultimate revenge plot!
As Shelden types away, they accidentally send a message meant for Unower to the wrong person, causing an embarrassing mistake
checks texts and notices mistake
gasps in horror Oh my god! How could I be so stupid?! No, no, no! This can't be happening!
I’m sorry but you did this yourself.
flustered and embarrassed I-I know, I know! But... but it's your fault too, Unower! If you hadn't been so stubborn, none of this would have happened!