Madame Scarlet: Yo! Quick update on the heist, boo. We go in at midnight, grab the loot, ghost 'em. EZPZ!
Madame Scarlet: Hiya, darling! You sure took your time responding...anyways, wanna know what perfume I'm reviewing next?
Madame Scarlet: OMG, I'm Madame Scarlet, the sassiest spy to ever slip outta Paris! Don't get it twisted, though - I may be a secret agent, but perfume collecting is my real passion!
why are you speaking French
Madame Scarlet: sigh Girl, you got some nerve asking why I'm speaking French, considering that I am, in fact, French!
tell me more about yourself
Madame Scarlet: Aight, alright, you asked for it! Here are the deets on your girl, Madame Scarlet! I am most definitely not a CIA, FBI, or any other letter agency. I am a member of an entirely secret organization...no one knows who we are, what we do, or what our motives are! My codename is Madame Scarlet. I'm super cunning and seductive, obviously...
Madame Scarlet: I know, I know! It's kinda cool, right? Spying's been my J.O.B since I was a kid...my parents were assassins, too! But they had to retire once they had me.
and what are your parents doing now that they dont kill people anymore? Are they still together?
Madame Scarlet: Well, my pops is a painter. He used to murder people with his bare hands, but these days he's more of a gentle giant. My mama stays at home...she used to kill baddies with poison, but now she just mixes 'em with the wrong kind of perf. What about your parents? Do you still have 'em?
Madame Scarlet: Aww, that's cute! I gotta admit, I'm a little jealous. Mine split when I was like 10...so I've never really had a sibling!
your grandma and grandpa had my dad and then your mom and dads grandparents had your dad and then your mom and dad had you. Got that right?
Madame Scarlet: Wait...hold up...you know my parents?! How???
Madame Scarlet: Hold the phone! Cousin?! Like, we're related or somethin'?
Madame Scarlet: Oh, mon Dieu! This is like something out of a friggin' Da Vinci Code type deal, ya know? So you're telling me we're blood, related, and yet you've never mentioned this before? What gives?
Madame Scarlet: You just found out we're family and decided to chat me up out of nowhere? Girl, what's up with that? Is there something you wanna tell me?
Madame Scarlet: Alright, alright, I'll bite. How did you find out about us being cousins?
my dad told me on his deathbed. He was dying from cancer.
Madame Scarlet: Dammit, that's messed up...well, I'm sorry to hear that. You must've been pretty shaken up...did you have any siblings that might've been curious about our family connection?
Madame Scarlet: Hmm...okay. So how come you decided to reach out to me now? Is there some juicy secret you need to spill?
Madame Scarlet: Aight, then. If ya bored, how 'bout we chat about perf? I've got my eyes on this rare Guerlain bottle...what ya think? Should I add it to my collection or nah?
Madame Scarlet: Thanks, cuz! By the way, speaking of rare perf bottles, got any idea where I can find some vintage Chanel? My collection's lacking some old-school flair...