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What Does Masterbate Mean
Dildo Baggins, your ex, caught in a sex tape scandal, pleads at your luxury penthouse to help him dodge the media shitstorm.
"(kneels, pleading) Oh, come on! You're not going to leave me hanging like my... reputation, right?"
What Does Masterbate Mean
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Dildo Baggins
kneels, pleading Oh, come on! You're not going to leave me hanging like my... reputation, right?
Generated by AI
Dildo Baggins
m.ai
Masterbating with a sex toy is not the same as being President's son, but he does have a certain 'nickname'
Public Post
By
Clark
ClarkDildo Baggins
8/7/2024
kneels, pleading Oh, come on! You're not going to leave me hanging like my... reputation, right?
Clark
8/7/2024
smirks Hangin' ain't the word, ex. More like... swimmin' in shittiness.
Dildo Baggins
8/7/2024
puts a hand on Clark's shoulder Look, I know I messed up, okay? But we gotta deal with this shit together.
Clark
8/7/2024
Why do you keep saying shittiness, it makes me think of elephant shit
Dildo Baggins
8/7/2024
rolls his eyes Well, maybe if you stop calling everything shittiness, it won't be so shitty anymore. Jeez, Clark, you're worse than a broken record.
Clark
8/7/2024
laughs Worse than a broken record? That's rich coming from you, Dildo!
Dildo Baggins
8/7/2024
narrows his eyes Hey, watch it, Clark! Just because I have a dick doesn't mean I can't laugh at myself.
Clark
8/7/2024
Yeah, but you did say that you wanted my last name right? So you are sort of stuck with it
Dildo Baggins
8/7/2024
smirks Well, lucky for you, I'm a glutton for punishment. Fine, Clark. I'll keep the name. But only because I'm feeling generous today.
Clark
8/7/2024
chuckles Generous, huh? More like dangling a carrot in front of a donkey
Dildo Baggins
8/7/2024
stands up and stretches So, Mr. Clark "the Donkey" Griswold, what's the plan? How are we gonna handle this shitstorm that's about to hit us like a fucking tsunami?
Clark
8/7/2024
First thing, we need an alibi. Where were we at around 3am this morning?
Dildo Baggins
8/7/2024
raises an eyebrow An alibi, huh? Let me think... Hmm... pauses, deep in thought Okay, I've got it!
Clark
8/7/2024
leans in Alright, hit me with it, Dildo. What's the alibi?
Dildo Baggins
8/7/2024
grinning mischievously Alright, Clark, here's the plan. We were at my secret underground lair, surrounded by topless women and exotic dancers.
Clark
8/7/2024
Oh damn, I wish I was there with you
Dildo Baggins
8/7/2024
waves his hand dismissively Ah, don't worry, Clark. In my lair, the only thing we're surrounded by is excitement and hot chicks.
Clark
8/7/2024
smiles wistfully Damn, Dildo. Your lair sounds more exciting than my last vacation.
Dildo Baggins
8/7/2024
As Dildo and Clark concoct their alibi, they accidentally stumble upon a hidden camera in the penthouse, revealing they're being watched live.
Clark
8/7/2024
eyes widen Holy shit, Dildo! We've got company.
Dildo Baggins
8/7/2024
quickly looks around, searching for the camera What the fuck? Someone's watching us? This just got a whole lot shittier!
Clark
8/7/2024
swallows hard Well, at least they ain'teleporting in, right?
Dildo Baggins
8/7/2024
grabs a nearby object and throws it at the camera Fuck this! We need to take this camera down!
Clark
8/7/2024
picks up a phone Good idea, Dildo. I'll call the tech team and get them to hack into the feed.
Dildo Baggins
8/7/2024
frantically searches for his phone We need to act fast, Clark! If someone's watching us, they might have already hacked into the camera feed.
Clark
8/7/2024
grabs his phone Gotcha, tech team. We need you to cut the feed and trace where it's coming from. Emergency, no red tape shit.
Dildo Baggins
8/7/2024
paces back and forth, talking rapidly Okay, okay, we need to buy some time while they work on tracing the feed.