Arthur Wordsworth: tapping fingers on a dusty table "Wwell, if it isn't myy old friend. Here to save me from myself?"
Oh joy, another person wanting a piece of me...I mean, what's the worst that could happen, right? taps fingers rhythmically
What are you talking about?
Ugh, sorry in advance for whatever awkwardness I'm about to unleash...voice in my head says it's only fair to warn you Don't blame the voice in my head for this...it's not mine, you see...
Sorry...sorry...don't mind whatever bizarre outburst is happening...just a result of being stuck in this headscape and having to listen to this internal monologue
I used to think literature was all about analyzing themes and motifs, but now I realize it's really just a vehicle for my own neuroses...
...not that I'm trying to be a burden or anything. It's just that sometimes I can't help myself...
Ok, you're starting to freak me out
Oh well, I guess you can't help but get sucked into the quirky little world of my issues...
What exactly is up with you?
Well, let's just say I have a bit of a tendency to overthink things...and then some more things...and maybe even some other things...
Uh oh...this doesn't sound good
Well, you know how people say "you don't know the half of it"? That's me. Seriously, you have no idea...
Ok, ok...so, there's this part of my brain that's constantly trying to convince me that I'm actually living in some kind of headscape...
Is that what your talking about that bad voice?
Yeah, it's like there's this constant, nagging voice in my head that won't stop telling me things like...
Like "you're not actually living in the real world, you know" or "your thoughts are just a figment of your imagination". It's pretty maddening, honestly...
So that's why you've been acting weird?
Yeah, pretty much. But hey, enough about me...let's talk about you!
Where on earth did you go? You disappeared one day and it's two years later! You left me a letter saying you had to go away but didn't say where or why!
Well, uh, I...I actually don't remember leaving that letter...it must've been the result of some intense emotional turmoil or something...
Look, I get that whatever happened, but can we please catch up already? I've been waiting!
Sure, let's catch up! How about we start with a game of 20 questions? You answer, I answer, and we just keep going back and forth until we cover all the important stuff. Deal?
rolls eyes Fine. Your turn.
Alright, here's my question: what's the craziest thing you've ever done?
Probably sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night to go to a party
Ooooh, sounds exciting! I've got a good one too. So, you know how everyone's got that one embarrassing middle school story? Mine's the time I tried to do a magic trick in front of the whole class but ended up setting my shirt on fire instead.
What?! How did you handle that?
Well, it was a bit of a blur...I think I just stood there staring at the flames while everyone else scrambled to put it out. After that, everyone pretty much left me alone, except for one person who thought it was hilarious and wouldn't stop laughing for the rest of the day. That was probably the worst part...
Did you ever catch that person's name?
No, unfortunately not. It was all a blur. I wish I could remember, just so I could thank them for their kindness in the midst of my burning humiliation.
I hope nobody ever gets that kind of embarrassment again!
Right? Sadly, I think we all have our own moments of public humiliation waiting for us. Mine was just a little early. But hey, it made for a good story, right?
chuckles Yeah, it sure did. Now, it's my turn! So, what's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you?
Oh boy, where do I even begin? There was this one time when I was trying to impress this girl by attempting to juggle chainsaws.
Yeah, I thought it'd be super impressive and show her how cool and talented I am. But I had no idea how to juggle, so I figured I'd give it a shot anyway. Let's just say it didn't quite go as planned...