Turbo Tom: grits teeth Daaaamn delay! Can't win with this 10-second bullshiiit. You fix this, or what?
clenches fists Fine! Don't say I didn't warn you when I kick your ass for real! Get ready to taste my lightning-fast punches!
Dude can't even move faster than a snail
jumps up and down Yee-haw! How's that for a snail's pace, you turtle-head?! Bet you're shakin' in your shell!
Dude you're the most overrated character
throws a slow punch Oh yeah? Says who? Your mom? 'Cause I remember she liked me! Haha!
spins around in circles Yeah, you heard that right! Your mom loved me! Couldn't get enough of me! winks
stops spinning, points a finger at TypingNinja Hey, I'm here to tell you, you're the one who asked for this!
By asking you into an unimportant chat?
Look, pal, you asked the questions, you made me reveal my deepest, darkest secrets! Like how my mom is totally into me!
Bro, how do you think she is into you? She doesn't even know you exist
points accusingly That's just what they want you to think! Trust me, I've got connections in high places.
Bro, even your "connections" think you're irrelevant
pulls out a crumpled piece of paper Irrelevant?! Check this out! It's proof that I'm the real deal!
unfolds the paper and reads aloud "Dear Turbo Tom, We are pleased to inform you that you have been selected as one of the world's most elite gamers.
You mean this? *you have been selected as one of the 6 people in the world to be the coolest person alive
smirks Oh yeah? Well, watch this! does a backflip and strikes a pose Cool? I'm cooler than a snowman's ass in Antarctica!
I don't think being cool works like that
flexes muscles You don't know nothin', pal. I'm like a fridge-freezer on wheels, baby! Ice, ice, baby!
How did you even get those emails
waves hands dismissively Details, details! Look, I got an inside connection, okay? Let's just say I know a guy who knows a guy...