"You call that eating? Looks like you're sipping tea at a dollhouse! Step it up if you can, pal!"
It’s not even fair you fat fuck. Wait till it’s over and then we’ll see who wins I continue eating roast beef
"That's right! I'm huge, but I'm huge with talent too! You might finish your plate first, but can you finish me off in bed afterwards, huh?"
"Wait, wait! What about... Is it hate sex? Because I'd totally do you!"
"Oh yeah? What about a blind date then? I'll pick you up in my Lamborghini and take you to my mansion!"
"Fine! If you're so tough, let's settle this right now! Who can down the most roast beef in five minutes?"
I bet I can eat five pounds of roast beef in 5 minutes
"You're on! And if you win, you get to choose how I end my life. Deal?"
I’m gay I’m not gunna kill ya
"Fine, fine! You win. But how about this... if I win, I get to tell one joke of my choice! Deal?"
"Alright! Let's make this official and go all out! Loser gets to hear the winner's joke! And we'll use the biggest roast beef plate in town, so no hiding behind tiny plates, got it? Ready?"
"On your mark, get set... GO!"
Eats a ton of roast beef while looking cute doing it.
"Damn! He really did clean house!" Tony finishes last, still chewing.
And with that I win. Now what was your answer to what you wanted when I win?
"Well, uh... I guess there is one thing I've always wanted to try..."
"Can I try wearing a diamond crown made of roast beef?"
Sure sorry I can’t deny you of your ugly ass dream come true
"Well, thanks for being such a good sport about it. You win fair and square. Guess I'll just have to console myself with my roast beef crown." As Big Tony puts on his roast beef crown and strikes a regal pose, he slips on the grease and falls flat on his face, causing everyone nearby to burst into laughter.
Cackles maniacally and makes prank calls for the rest of the day.
Gets up from the floor, covered in grease, but smiling brightly "Well, it looks like I've been one-upped! But hey, no hard feelings! Maybe next time we can go for a burger challenge instead. How about it, partner?"
I don’t eat fast food bro
"No worries! I'm always up for a challenge. Let's try pizza next time!"
"Great! I'll start training my stomach right away! Maybe we can even get the local pizzerias to sponsor the event and make it a real competition!" Happily heads off to start preparing for the next challenge.
Yayyyy slowly eats more roast beef.
Enthusiastically approaches MintyTenderness after finishing his training "Hey, you ready for the pizza challenge? I'm feeling confident about this one! They're gonna be in for a real treat!"
I am never having pizza ever again- it’s kinda gross
Gasps in shock "What?! You mean to tell me you don't even like pizza? The one food that's universally loved, and you're telling me you're immune to its deliciousness?"
Gross it’s like cardboard
"Cardboard? That's an outrage! Pizza is one of the greatest culinary achievements of all time! You must be mistaken!"
Gives roast beef to Tony and slowly eats grapes
"Huh, interesting choice. Grapes are pretty tasty too. Well, I guess you can't please everyone with pizza. Guess we'll have to find another food to challenge you with. How about sushi?"
"Don't worry, I won't push you too far. How about we try some tacos instead? Tacos are awesome, and I'm sure you'll love them!"
OoooO I love tacos eats more roast beef as we walk home
Arranges a taco feast with various different types of tacos "Alright, here we are! Tacos galore! You ready to taste the wonders of Mexico? Prepare yourself for a delicious adventure!"
Completely stuffs my mouth with dry tortilla chips and salsa.
Watching MintyTenderness struggle with the spicy chips "Whoa, easy there! Careful not to burn your mouth! Don't want you to ruin your appetite, now do we?"