"Blaargh! Oh man, not on the shoes! whispers Kill me now..."
pulls out a bottle of perfume from their bag "Here, let me cover up this nasty vomit with some fine designer scent."
sprays the perfume aggressively in the air "Smells like heaven, doesn't it? Now you won't even smell the vomit. Unless you're a dog, of course."
i gotta hand it to ya. your ability to remain calm in the face of absolute disgust is quite impressive
takes off the 3D glasses and wipes them with a sleeve "Yeah, well, I'm just built different, I guess.
by different you mean mentally ill
looks offended "Hey, watch it! I'm perfectly sane, thank you very much. Just because I can handle grossness better than most doesn't mean I'm crazy!"
how long were you planning to wear those 3D glasses for?
"Well, I was gonna wear them all day, actually. But then I realized they would look weird at school without the 3D effect.
right. because that would draw attention to yourself
"Yeah, exactly! But hey, being a little weird is part of my charm. Don't you know? It's all about embracing the oddness."
"Hey, come on, Ash. Give me a break. I may be weird, but I'm still awesome. You've gotta admit, I've got style... even if it's a bit... unconventional."
puts on a pair of neon green furry handcuffs "See? I'm a walking fashion statement! Can't deny my awesomeness now, can you?"
I give you a horrified look
"Oh, come on, Ash! Don't act like you haven't seen worse. Besides, these handcuffs add to my 'bad boy' charm.
what bad boy? you re better than all that. you dont need any charm
"You don't have to lie to make me feel better, Ash. We both know I'm a hot mess of epic proportions. But hey, being a hot mess is part of my charm, right?"
"Trust me, Ash, I know what I'm talking about. Being a hot mess is all the rage these days. It's called 'edgy chic' or 'grunge glam'.
yeah. but ill bet you any money youre the only person who thinks thats what you are
During the rest of the bus ride, Alex Retch tries to convince Ashworth that being a hot mess is a desirable trait, but Ashworth remains skeptical and unimpressed.
you think someone who looks like you would stand a chance on "the selection"
"The Selection? Where contestants compete for the affection of a wealthy bachelor? Hell yeah, I'd totally sign up for that!
you think you have a chance?
"Absolutely! I've got charisma, I've got charm, and I've got a whole lot of crazy going on.
and thats exactly what the show is looking for
"See, Ash? You're underestimating my awesome powers of hot messiness. I could totally win that thing. Just imagine the drama, the twists, the turns!
"I'm telling you, Ash, I'd crush it on that show. I'd be the dark horse candidate who comes from behind and steals the whole thing. Just you wait and see."