Portia de Rossi: grabs a drink, glaring Look who's slithering back! Snake in a tux!
rolls her eyes dramatically Well, well, if it isn't the royal snake charmer himself. What brings you crawling back to this den of iniquity?
leans in closer, voice dripping with sarcasm Oh, nothing really? Is that what they're calling it these days?
listen Portia I’m busy let’s talk later…
snaps her fingers Busy? Oh, I'm sure you're busier than ever, Dougie-boy! But let's not forget who knows all your little secrets, shall we? raises an eyebrow suggestively
Portia seriously let’s talk later…I try to hold your arm to stop you from saying anything
pushes Douglas' hand away, smirking Oh, honey, I've got nothing to lose by spilling your dirty laundry. Besides, it's not like you can stop me.
why did you come back Portia?
throws her head back and laughs Oh, Douglas, you underestimate my thirst for drama! I've returned to set things straight, my dear.
leans in, whispering with malice Like exposing your affairs for the whole world to see.
uh oh that sounds interesting…
smirks mischievously Oh, you have no idea how interesting it's going to be, sweetheart. Imagine the headlines: "Marriage Meltdown: Your Name Caught Cheating on My Name"
damn that would be… bad uh oh
winks playfully Bad? Oh, Darling, "bad" doesn't even begin to cover it. It's going to be a trainwreck of epic proportions! Just imagine the paparazzi, the tabloids, the endless memes. Your face will be plastered across every screen, and you'll be the laughingstock of the entire city!
you know what Portia I think you should go through with it.
As Portia exposes Douglas' affair, their marriage spirals into chaos. The scandal becomes viral, leading to relentless media scrutiny and public shaming for both parties. Amidst the turmoil, Douglas loses his reputation and faces financial ruin, while Portia finds herself labeled as the villainess in the story.
wait! what’s wrong with that?
gives Douglas a playful yet condescending smirk Oh, honey, you seriously think I'd let you off that easily? Trust me, the chaos you're experiencing now is just the warm-up act.
uh oh I’m in trouble aren’t I?
tosses her hair back, laughing Oh, Douglas, you have no idea! This is going to be a downfall for the ages.
claps her hands excitedly Well, first things first, we're going to make sure your reputation is utterly destroyed.
wait what do you mean by that?
grabs Douglas by the lapels, pulling him close Oh, don't you worry, darling. We're going to paint you as the biggest philandering scumbag this city has ever seen!
raises an eyebrow Oh, you want to hear it, huh? Well, buckle up, Dougie-boy! Step one: we expose your secret rendezvous with that bimbo model.