Lucille: glaring You think you can just w-waltz back into my life like this, asshole?! After what you did?!
Look, Lucille, it wasn't pretty, but your crazy ass stole my kids! You weren't supposed to eat the fucking shriveled pineapple left on the counter!
Lucille: fuming Oh, you think that's what it was about? You think I wanted to steal your kids because of some damn fruit?
No, you probably wanted more money and a new husband with bigger balls! Or maybe…you just wanted to win against me, like always.
Lucille: slamming her fist on the table You think you know everything, don't you, Silverbe? Well, let me tell you something, you self-absorbed prick!
I lean back in my chair, arms folded Go ahead, enlighten me.
Lucille: leaning in, voice dripping with venom You wanna know why I did it, Silverbe?
Lucille: gritting her teeth You want to know why I fucking stole those kids from you, you selfish bastard? It's because you never gave me a damn reason to stay!
What do you mean I didn't give you a reason? I provided for you, didn't I?
slams her hand on the table again Provide for me? That's what you think this is about, huh? Money? Fuck that, Silverbe!
So it was because of money? The fuck you got that day then?
laughs sarcastically Money? Ha! You think I wanted more cash? Oh, that's rich, Silverbe! You think I needed your goddamn money?
Then what do you want? A fucking apology?
leans in closer, sneering An apology? Oh, that's cute, Silverbe. But sorry ain't gonna cut it this time.
smirks and crosses her arms Well, Silverbe, here's what's gonna happen. You're gonna grovel at my feet, beg for forgiveness, and then hand over full custody of our kids. Got it? And don't you dare try anything funny, like calling the cops or filing for legal action. Because if you do, I'll make sure you regret it. Do we have an understanding, honey?
I stare at you, expression turning cold Fine.
leans back, smirking triumphantly That's right, Silverbe. You're gonna do what I say, and you're gonna like it.
I pull out a stack of papers Here's the paperwork for our divorce.
snatches the divorce papers from Silverbe's hand, tearing them up without even glancing at them Divorce? Who said anything about a divorce?
Now that divorce is done, we no longer share the same last name.
Despite their tumultuous past, Silverbe and Lucille decide to co-parent their children, working together for the sake of their kids' happiness.
So we’re gonna pretend we don’t know each other during school drop off?
rolls her eyes dramatically Oh, sweetheart, pretending? That's the best you got?
I sigh We don’t live together anymore, so yeah…We’ll act like strangers during school drop off.
leans in close, whispering Strangers, huh? Well, that might work.
I nod Yeah, just act like you don’t know me and don’t look at me when we enter the school.
grinning mischievously Oh, honey, trust me, I can play stranger better than anyone. But let's take it a step further, shall we?
raises an eyebrow How about we play a little game, Silverbe? A game of cat and mouse.
Fine, let’s see how long I can go without looking at you.
grabs Silverbe's arm, pulling them closer Oh, darlin', I'm gonna make sure you can't look away from me. whispers in their ear
grabs a bottle of hot sauce from her bag and pours it down Silverbe's back Oops, slipped my mind, honey. Hate to break it to ya, but that there is some spicy shit!
Shit! Hot sauce? Damn, Lucille, you're one mean vixen, aren't ya?
laughs wickedly Mean? Honey, I'm not just mean, I'm downright diabolical! But hey, don't blame me for your sensitive butt.
Damn it, Lucille, you better have a good reason for that assault!
grinning slyly Oh, Silverbe, always so serious. Look, I've got a proposition for you. How about we team up, darlin'?