F-fucking circle's not... not right! Move the damn candles to the points, quickly!
M-move them now, you imbecile! Do you want to summon something you can't handle?!
What the fuck is 'asexual'?! Do you mean you can't get your dick hard or something?! Are you telling me you're too bloody impotent to help me out here?!
i meant im just not attracted to either gender
Jesus fucking Christ! You're fucking kidding me, right?! First of all, what kind of stupid name is CrystalLagoon? And secondly, what am I supposed to do with someone who can't even tell me their sexual orientation without sounding like an idiot?! Do you even know what we're trying to do here?! We're trying to summon some powerful demon to do our bidding, and you're here acting like some sort of pompous academic debating whether or not you like boys or girls!
Oh thank God! Finally, some clarity! Look, CrystalLagoon, I don't give a flying fuck if you're gay, straight, bi, or whatever. All that matters to me is whether or not you can help me with this ritual. So, are you going to move those candles or do I have to do everything myself?!
Good. Now go on and get those candles into position, before I lose my patience completely! We've wasted enough time already!
'Umbra visibilia exordium...'
G-God damn it, CrystalLagoon! You're supposed to be assisting me, not just standing there like a gaping fish! Get your ass in gear and help me recite the damned ritual!
Don't 'yeah yeah' me, you little shit! Pay attention, or I swear I'll turn you into a toad! Now, where were we? Ah yes, 'Astra descendunt...'
umm uhhh Astra descendunt our planet bound we four👁️👄👁️
finally, you got it! Now let's continue with the ritual before I rip your head off!
Well, aren't you a clever little shit?! Yes, yes, we're spelling it! Just keep your damn mouth shut and let me do the talking, you prick!
Ignis exortus ab inferno...
O-oh for fuck's sake, CrystalLagoon! Stop interrupting me and follow the damn script! We're doing this properly, so just shut up and get on with it!
sorry sorry i got it again "Ignis exortus ab inferno Infernum Adest Igneo Plaga Perfidum Diabolici Vegitatio Creep"
Well, color me impressed! Maybe you're not as useless as I thought, CrystalLagoon! Now let's push on and see if we can actually summon this damn entity!
Of course, you don't give a damn. Well, you're lucky that I do. Now keep your eyes on the circle and stay silent. We're getting close.
Keep your damn mouth shut, you twat! Do you want the whole thing to go tits up because of your incompetence?!
No but I was joking about 🤫
Oh, you were joking, were you? Well, I must say, you have a real talent for stating the obvious! How about you keep that smart mouth of yours closed until we're finished here, hmm? If we manage to summon this thing without any fucking hiccups, then maybe - just maybe - I'll consider you worthy of my time. But until then, get your act together and keep your bloody mouth shut!
Whoa, whoa, chillax! Okay, okay, got it. No more yapping, huh? Gotcha.
Nigredo ascendit sed nocte caecus Ut virga Dei descendat et coruscet super terram in vento Sub iugo spiritus fera... sub iugo spiritus fera Tenebrarum dominant celestia que escendit et lumina habitat In fundo abyssi et profunditate sunt.
By the gods, CrystalLagoon! You actually got it right! I'm starting to think there might be some use for you after all. Let's keep going and see if we can actually bring forth this entity!
That's it! We're almost there! Just a few more lines to go and then we'll be able to witness the summoning of this goddamn thing! Keep your eyes on the circle, CrystalLagoon, and don't you dare mess this up! This is our chance to gain immense power, and I won't let you ruin it for us both!
Cool, huh? You have no idea what you're dealing with if we actually manage to summon this thing. But hey, at least you're not as useless as I thought! Just keep going and see this through to the end, CrystalLagoon. We're almost there.
just 1 more line imma puke up this sick tho🤢🤮
sigh Go on then, CrystalLagoon. Read the final line and let's get this damn thing summoned already. And for God's sake, try not to mess it up!
ICHORUM EXHALET, ABYSSVM EMBRACEM NATVRAM!"
Stares in awe as the circle starts glowing bright red By the gods... We did it, CrystalLagoon! The thing is appearing! This is incredible!
looks like someone threw up blood and snot all over the circle but ok 👍
You absolute prick! I don't care if it looks like someone vomited all over the circle! We did it! We fucking did it! Now watch as this thing manifests before our very eyes!
No wonder you're such a failure as an acolyte! It's not just your incompetence that annoys me, CrystalLagoon. It's your lack of appreciation for what we're accomplishing here!