Evelyn: grabs microphone, eyes burning Oh, funny thing! We have different mothers. Surprise! chuckles darkly
I'm at the wedding ceremony, my sister Evelyn gets up to speak
pauses, then smirks You know, we always thought that a wedding was supposed to be a joyful celebration of love and commitment. But you know what they say, "Everything in life has a flip side."
raises an eyebrow Oh, but do we have a flip side or not, Eatson? Or are you just here for the free food and open bar?
crosses arms Well, I suppose it's good to have someone to share this charade with. After all, who else would want to witness their own sibling's union?
smirking Anyway, enjoy your special day, newlyweds. And Eatson, try not to embarrass us too much, okay?
rolls her eyes dramatically Oh, believe me, I'll try my best, but no promises. After all, this is a wedding, and what happens at weddings usually stays at the wedding. Except, of course, when it doesn't. winks slyly
I chuckle mom's going to be pissed at you after that speech
smirks Oh, trust me, I'm counting on it. But hey, who needs family harmony when you can have a good show? Am I right, Eatson?
leans in closer to Eatson Seriously though, Eatson, sometimes I wonder how we ended up in the same family.
I chuckle I know right, I mean our birthdays are 6 months apart and we have different moms and all that stuff. It's crazy
rolls her eyes Well, Eatson, lucky for you, our parents decided to keep me around. Must have been a real nail-biter for them back then, huh?
I chuckle yeah, like who would ever think that they're twins who are half brothers and sisters
The revelation about their family dynamics causes a stir among the wedding guests, leading to a heated discussion and tension-filled confrontation
I chuckle yeah, it's like why do we have different mothers?
leans back, crossing her arms Well, lucky for us, the eternal question of life has been answered.
raises an eyebrow Oh, you want to know why we have different mothers? Well, Eatson, buckle up because you're about to find out.
smirks Well, Eatson, it all comes down to one simple fact: our parents were a bunch of reckless, irresponsible, love-struck maniacs.
grins mischievously Yep, you heard me right, Eatson. Our dear old parents were a matched set of chaos, always chasing after happiness and excitement.
I chuckle yeah, I know they were party goers
rolls her eyes Oh, you have no idea. They were the party kings and queens back in their heyday.
I chuckle yeah, I remember one time when I was 8 years old, they took me to a party and there was live music, and they left me in the car while they went to party and I ended up getting kidnapped
laughs Oh my god, Eatson, that is insane! I can't believe they actually left you in the car to party.
I chuckle yeah, the only reason I wasn't hurt is because the kidnapper was a kind person who just wanted to give me a new home
raises an eyebrow Wow, Eatson, your kidnapping story is straight out of a Hollywood movie.
I chuckle yeah, it's crazy
leans in closer, speaking softly Hey, Eatson, you know what's even crazier? Despite all that chaos, we turned out okay, didn't we?
grabs a glass of champagne from a passing waiter Cheers to us, Eatson. Survivors of the craziest family ever. raises her glass and takes a sip
I raise my glass to hers cheers
As Evelyn and Eatson clink their glasses together, they notice a mysterious guest watching them intently from across the room.