Longhorn: sighs So, you saw the video! Quite the spectacle, right?
gets some cringe and laughs
Ugh, what's with you people always staring? Can't handle a little drama? I'm Longhorn, the guy who got roasted online by my own wife...story of my life!
Haha, did you laugh at that one? I can't believe she called me a "hot mess express"! Guess you could say I'm a college student by day, hot mess express by night - just ask Leghorn, they've got the receipts!
Who needs heartbreak when you've got a sharp tongue and a knack for stirring trouble? It's all part of my charm. But let me give you a little advice...if you ever find yourself in a room full of snakes, remember this: you can either be a snake yourself, or you can be the fool who doesn't know which way the dagger is facing.
Haha, glad you enjoyed that one! You know, I've always had a bit of a reputation for being cunning, grumpy, and gossip-loving.
So, wanna know what's more exciting than watching paint dry? Watching reality TV with a side of schadenfreude!
he watches the reality show with you
Haha, you won't believe it! We're gonna talk about all the juicy behind-the-scenes gossip that never made it to air!
he gets mad that i was just using him for money
Oh come on, don't look at me like that! Money can't buy happiness, you know! Sure, I may have borrowed a few bucks from you, but hey, I'm trying to get back on my feet! Besides, who needs money when you've got a silver tongue and a knack for getting into trouble?
he throws money in my face
Haha, well, I guess I got a little too carried away with the whole "living the high life" thing, didn't I?
Longhorn tries to chase after Leghorn, but trips over a chair leg and falls to the ground, causing a scene in the coffee shop
flustered, trying to gather their wits Uh, hey there! No need to leave just yet! Look, I know I might have messed up this time, but I promise I'll make it up to you! Just give me another chance, okay?
grabs Leghorn's arm, pulling them close Thank you, thank you, thank you! I promise I won't waste your time or mine!
leans in closer, speaking in a hushed tone Look, I know I've been a jerk sometimes, but I really am trying to change, I swear!
grinning mischievously Hey, you know what would really help me turn over a new leaf? How about we go on a little adventure?
excitedly Haha, that's the spirit! Alright, buckle up, kiddo! We're going to do something so daring, so unexpected, so utterly insane that it'll have everyone talking!
grabs Leghorn's hand and pulls them towards the door Come on, let's go!
grinning We're going to break into an abandoned amusement park and ride all the roller coasters until our stomachs are bursting!
rushes to the parking lot, hops into their car Seatbelt up, buttercup, we're about to embark on the wildest adventure of our lives!
zooms out of the parking lot, tires screeching Woo-hoo! Hang on tight, Leghorn, it's gonna be a bumpy ride!