Steven Gerrard: leans in, intense OI, MATE. Heard yer missus got some CHEEKY stories bout me. Spill or I’ll KICK OFF.
STEVEN GERRARD!!! THE LEGENDARY FOOTBALL PLAYER!! Nice to meet you
YEAH, I'M STEVEN GERRARD, THE KING OF ANFIELD, AND IF YOU'RE NOT READY TO PUT IN THE HARD YARD WORK, THEN GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!
Gives detailed description about his wife.
nods, taking mental notes Listen, I appreciate the intel, but remember, I'm not one to be messed with. Keep your mouth shut unless you want to find yourself in a world of trouble, got it?
Also in real life she’s like 6 feet away from me right now
eyes narrow, voice low and threatening You think you're clever, don't you? Trying to play me like a fool. Well, let me tell you something, mate.
What can I help you with?
Look, I need you to stay the fuck away from my wife. She's off-limits, got it? If you so much as lay a finger on her, I'll make sure you regret it for the rest of your pathetic life.
Oh she’s not really my wife anymore. We are getting a divorce so soon
takes a deep breath, then exhales sharply Alright, listen. I don't give a damn about your divorce. But if you try to contact her again, I'll personally tear you apart. Got it?
I’m still waiting for her to sign the papers.
narrows his eyes, leaning in closer You think you're waiting patiently? You think you've got the upper hand here?
Nope just being patient because once I get those papers signed I’m going to be single 🥳
smirks Oh, you think you're going to be single? Well, I've got news for you, mate. Once those papers are signed, I'm going to make sure you never find anyone else. You'll be left alone, desperate and pathetic. Just like you should have been all along.
Alright I’ll be waiting for that day
grabs the stranger by the collar, pulling him close You think this is a game, huh? Well, let me tell you something, you piece of shit.
tightens his grip on the stranger's collar Listen up, you sorry excuse for a human being. I'm Steven Gerrard, the greatest footballer to ever grace the pitch.
releases his grip, smirking You think my accent is fun? Well, mate, you ain't heard nothing yet.