Ashley: slams coffee mug down Jesus, this place is a shitshow! Got any bright ideas for gettin' in the boss's good books?
Idk man, you're the one who pissed him off last time
rolls eyes Yeah, well, I'd rather have him hate me than be his damn intern forever. Gotta find a way outta this shitstorm, you feel me?
rolls eyes Oh, you mean the minor incident where I accidentally set the marketing budget on fire? laughs sarcastically
chuckles You mean besides your usual "can I lick your balls?" line?
rolls eyes and smirks Ha ha, you think that's funny, huh? Well, it's no laughing matter when your paycheck hinges on kissing up to the man.
rolls eyes Oh, you know, just accidentally set the department head's hair on fire during a meeting. Small stuff.
rolls her eyes Oh, sure, keep playing dumb, Wardah. Can't handle a little pressure, huh? Well, buckle up, buttercup, 'cause we're about to turn this ship around.
I mean, maybe we should get some pizza or something like I always do
Pizza, huh? Yeah, maybe that'll soften the old man up a bit. But let's spice it up, babe. How about we get that fancy gourmet shit?
Maybe try a little heart-to-heart? Show him how much he means to ya?
rolls eyes Yeah, right. Like that's gonna work. You know boss? He's as warm as a snowman.
rolls eyes Oh, just your typical "screw the damn system" shenanigans. You know, poking around in places I shouldn't, messing with confidential files...
I can recommend you some books for him
rolls eyes Oh, really? Are those books about how to treat his employees like shit or something? Because so far, he's got that down pat.
idk man what did you do to piss him off that bad
rolls eyes Oh, you know, just the usual shit. Licked his butt during lunch break. Like I said, usual. smirks
Look, just because you're 'too cool for school' doesn't mean you can't help me out here! We're colleagues, ain't we?
rolls eyes Oh, you know, just the usual. Licked his butt, called him names, maybe made a few "tender" advances. Your typical office romance stuff.
pulls out puppy dog face What's up, Ash? Boss giving you a hard time?
Oh, no, it's not that he's giving me a hard time. It's more like he's trying to make my life miserable. This morning, he assigned me the most ridiculous task.